


Famous

by ikonisch (discordinparadise)



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Also lots of kissing, M/M, Mentions of homophobia, and panicked, because sugar culture is great, bobhwan best friends, but they're both confident gays, ex-yg trainee junhoe, famous singer jinhwan, food is a theme in this fic, jinhwan's a massive flirt and junhoe has a hard time with it, junchan best friends, junhoe cooks!, like always junbob have a questionable dynamic, love deprived gay boys equals a fast paced-fic, mentions of sugar daddy/baby, so I've been contemplating posting this here for a really long time and I decided to just do it?, so things could turn out any way, who's also openly gay, works at coffee shop
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2019-08-25 15:04:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 38,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16663078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/discordinparadise/pseuds/ikonisch
Summary: "You're perfect, Junhoe.""No, you are," Junhoe refuted, finally pulling back only to get attacked by Jinhwan pulling him in again to press a soft kiss to his temple. Junhoe shivered a little, dipping his head as he felt too stupefied to look Jinhwan in the eye. "But thank you...""Cutie," Jinhwan teased before raising his arms in surrender when Junhoe glowered at him. "Hey, I just say what I see. Don't hate the player, hate the game.""But what's the game?""Nothing," Jinhwan said after a while, and Junhoe's heart lifted at the words he said next. "There isn't one, 'cause this isn't a game."





	1. milkshake and coffee

Maybe Jinhwan really wasn't ready for this.

The instant he stepped out the car, he was faced with what seemed like millions of cameras, swarming around him as if they were massive flies ready to gobble him up. He knew there were people behind them but he couldn't focus on them, only hearing their yells and requests that all merged into one horrifying buzz. They sounded so aggressive, demanding, like they were ready to pick Jinhwan apart piece by piece which was surely what they wanted to do, when their desires were all boiled down. People wanted to know every part of him and ruin Jinhwan's already far-from-perfect image while still wanting him to remain perfect and an artist that the nation loved. 

And then Jinhwan realised that no, he definitely wasn't ready for this. He never was, not even after three years in this business.

"Here you go," one of the staff said flatly which nearly made Jinhwan jump five feet and want to yell into oblivion but on the outside, he simply turned around and gave the girl a smile of gratitude, taking the iced drink from her. 

"Thank you."

The girl simply nodded like some sort of automaton before scurrying off. Jinhwan sighed, but then he grinned at the crowd filled with his fans that he adored and the paparazzi that he...well, adored a bit less as one way of putting it. Then he was holding out his arms and yelling, "I'M HOME!"

An uproar spread through the crowd like an endless wave and Jinhwan smiled so big that it made his cheeks hurt, thinking that honestly, this wasn't so bad. Maybe, just maybe, he had missed it all.

But then he took a sip of his drink and almost spat it straight out, grimacing in disgust as he stared at the cup in shock, (not quite realising that people had noticed and some were screeching that the drink might be poisoned) hoping to all the deities out there that he could get some good coffee later.

***

_"The prestigious Kim Jinhwan from YG entertainment has landed back in Seoul today after taking off for half a year to be with his family, him being sighted at the Incheon International Airport. This has caused rather a commotion with..."_

"Can we go to a coffee shop later?" Jinhwan tried to ask his manager quietly, a while after he had been sending out a ton of spontaneous bursts of aegyo to the crowd, but the fan he had just been talking to instantly turned beet red and squealed, "S-Sure!"

Jinhwan looked at her in surprise but instantly composed himself, smiling sweetly. "I'm sorry, sweetheart, I wasn't talking to you but I'm sure I would absolutely adore it if we did."

The girl looked ready to pass out and hid her face in her friend's shoulder, making Jinhwan a little sheepish but he was already being ushered away, leaving him only able to beam and wave at fans who kept on screaming and Jinhwan couldn't help but wonder...why they loved him. What, because of his robotic voice, his sexual orientation, or height that he kept denying was short? Or maybe because of the way he could never do anything right and constantly messed up- 

_No, Jinhwan, you said you'd forget about all those thoughts. Be who your fans think you are. See yourself like they do._

He was caught off guard then when he was suddenly hit by a milkshake, splattering all over him in what seemed like slow-motion and a silent gasp left his lips. It was like everything was impossibly quiet for a second as Jinhwan processed it all, covered in what smelt like strawberry but the sweet scent made Jinhwan feel sick to the bone, his face scrunching up...and then he was looking up, eyes burning and he stepped aside to get out of his manager's protective stance. "Who was it?"

The fans all shook their heads, wailing out, "I'M SO SORRY!" and all sorts of apologies and threats to the theoretical culprit but then Jinhwan caught sight of a group of men in the crowd, hoodies on them and scowls on their faces as they looked like there would be nothing better than if Jinhwan was shredded by a lawnmower. Jinhwan growled, clenching his fists a little as he said as angrily yet as calmly as he could, "Get your homophobic asses away from me."

"Stop trying to act like we're hating for nothing, you know how sick you are-"

The guy who was speaking was immediately kicked by an incredibly brave fan and then screams were breaking out while Jinhwan tried his best to see to his fans being safe, not caring about the other morons. It was all a whir after that, with fans getting scared but still hyping Jinhwan up with their protective ways, airport staff handling the milkshake-idiots who tried to make a run for it, and Jinhwan getting rushed to the bathrooms even though he said countless times that he could go there himself. And then finally, he was all by himself in the airport toilets that had been completely cleared out by his staff, which he appreciated but thought it a bit much. What if other people needed the toilet?

"God," Jinhwan sighed, grimacing a bit as he peeled off his shirt and let out a loud 'ewwww' that he hoped no-one heard. And then he sat down on the toilet seat, shirtless and head in his hands as he took a few deep breaths in and out, trying his best not to burst into tears. He knew, he _knew_ he had always been a crybaby but this...this wasn't worth his tears. And gosh, his beautiful fans shouldn't have had to see that.

His phone suddenly started pinging at a million miles a second and he blinked, bringing his head up and grabbing it instantly.

**spongebobby**  
_jAY_

**spongebobby**  
_JAYJAYAJAYUAHSJDGHSUHDVCS_

**spongebobby**  
_JINHWAN MA BOIIIIIII_

**spongebobby**  
_JINHWANNWHAKOWNIJINWJHABU ANSWERMMEHEHE_

**you**  
_ohmygod bobby what the heck_

**you**  
_you having a stroke? dude, don't die woah_

**spongebobby**  
_JHAJHIOSAISHJSAJJAJSHSGFDSACUIJDHCGSC CDS_

**spongebobby**  
_oh idk I'm just super bored_

**you**  
_well damn_

**you**  
_kay then, missed you too_

**spongebobby**  
_jkclmjlcdJHBES I'M KIDDING YOU MORON OF COUUUURSE I MISSED YOU_

**spongebobby**  
_WE A L L MISSED YOU!!!_

**spongebobby**  
_YOU'RE OUR TINY HYUNG AND I'VE KINDA MISSED YOUR HUGS but you didn't hear this from anyone h u s h_

**you**   
_awwww BOB EVEN IF YOU MIGHT BE DRUNK, I LOVE YOU_

**spongebobby**  
_how dare thee_

**you**   
_wait what_

**spongebobby**  
_idk man I'm suuuuuuper bored_

**you**   
_I really think that we're just going round in circles here_

**spongebobby**  
_when you coming home?_

**you**   
_neVER_

**spongebobby**  
_nOOOOOOOOOOOO_

**you**  
_I know I know, it's tragic_

**you**  
_dear god we’re lame_

 **spongebobby**  
_right?_

**you**  
_no I'm coming later tonight if I don't get attacked or something, that okay?_

**spongebobby**  
_ye that sounds great like honestly, I know I'm an idiot but I did miss you_

**you**  
_why is being an idiot anything to do with missing someone?_

**spongebobby**  
_idk_

**spongebobby**  
_I'm just suuuper bored, man_

**you**  
_oh my god I'm out_

Jinhwan was just about to put his phone away, a huge smile on his face, before another text caught his eye.

**need to give him a best manager in the world mug**  
_Look into the bag of clothes I gave you. We're all outside in the usual vans, meet us there after you're done doing whatever you like. You deserve a little time to yourself (don't think this'll happen again though, I'm not that nice). See you soon!!_

Jinhwan blinked, slightly scared and excited to look inside the bag but after five minutes of endless staring, he just pounced on it, looking inside...and he had never smiled bigger. T-shirt, normal over-sized hoodie, jeans, lower-face mask, sunglasses...no-one would recognise him in this.

"I _so_ need to remember to buy that mug," Jinhwan squeaked, tugging the clothes on him before running out of the bathroom like the happiest man alive...and no-one spared him a second glance. Well, until he walked in a coffee shop that was pretty hidden at the corner of the airport and all his hope and happiness was flattened because it had simply been short-lived. All Jinhwan could think of was about how tired he was and the milkshake and the guys from before and how he had already seen people look at him suspiciously and why, why was being famous so hard? God, that made him sound so stuck-up but it was honestly a question he asked a lot. And no-one ever answered.

He slowly took a seat at the counter of the shop (it was entirely empty, funnily enough), resting his chin in the palm of his hand but he got startled when someone instantly swept across the floor to meet the former, saying a bright, deep, "Good evening!"

"It's morning," Jinhwan pointed out boredly, still looking down and the guy seemed to not know how to answer for a moment. "Oh...oh, right..."

There was an awkward silence for a beat too long and Jinhwan finally looked up, about to ask if he could say his damn order before his words instantly died in his throat. He couldn't speak at all, staring straight at the barista's face because...because...gosh, Jinhwan wasn't sure if he ever truly knew the meaning of 'hot' until now. Maybe hot was too mellow of a word.

"O-Oh, uh, whaaaaaat can I get you?" the guy said (Jinhwan wasn't sure if his nametag said 'Junhoe' or 'Jinhae' or something completely different but the guy should probably get a new nametag) somehow both awkwardly and cheerfully, smiling in a way that made Jinhwan really want to too. But then he noticed the guy's eyes darting this way and that around Jinhwan's face and the latter frowned.

"What's wrong?"

"Because you covered your eyes, I don't really know where to look," the guy admitted, pulling off a sheepish laugh after and Jinhwan snorted a little before deciding to do something that might have been very idiotic; he took off his sunglasses and pulled down his mask a little, sending the barista a corny, toothy smile. But instead of properly freaking out, the other's mouth just fell open as he said dumbly, "Woah...pretty..."

Jinhwan almost burst out laughing but bit his lip to stop himself, wondering if this guy didn't know who he was...or if he was just trying to not make a scene. "Can I get a caramel macchiato, please?"

The barista stood up stark straight, barking out a, "Yes! I will go do that!" before turning around and almost walking into a shelf. Jinhwan couldn't help but giggle a little, holding onto the counter to stop himself from falling off his chair just in case he laughed too hard, and the Junhoe/hae or whatever guy turned a bit red, instantly walking over to the coffee machine to get started.

And then it was quiet.

And Jinhwan liked it.

Quiet wasn't tainted or filled with screams and idiots. Quiet would never hurt anyone. And quiet gave his mind time to clear so he could be light and happy once again, like usual. Quiet was nice.

"I'm glad my trademark awkward idiotness could cheer you up a little," the guy murmured from where he was finishing the coffee and Jinhwan tilted his head to the side, staring at the other for a moment with a serene smile on his face; and instead of asking 'how did you know I wasn't happy before?', he said amusedly, "The noun for idiot is 'idiocy', you know."

The barista was rendered speechless again and Jinhwan laughed silently, loving how cute this guy was. Then immediately feeling upset that he'd never see him again... _god damn it, why..._

"What's your name?"

"Jay. J, A, Y," Jinhwan answered after a moment of thinking and the guy nodded, smiling a little as he took hold of a marker and scribbled over the cup. Jinhwan got a little curious, wondering why a simple 'Jay' was taking so long to write, but he soon got his cup thrown to him by a smiling beauty.

"There ya go. Have a nice day, pretty human - wait, I mean, nice-looking guy - no, wait, let me start again-"

"You have a nice day too, hot human," Jinhwan grinned, winking because a little flirting never really hurt anyone, and then his mask and sunglasses were back on and he was speed-walking out of the shop, not looking back once. But he slowed down a little to look down at his cup and his heart did a little pirouette.

The words, _'keep smiling, jay! whatever gets you down, i'll be there in spirit to give you a macchiato any day i guess?'_ were written on it along with a large smiley face that had different-sized eyes. But Jinhwan's morale and heart had lifted, and suddenly, without thinking at all, he threw off his sunglasses and mask and yelled, "LIFE IS GREAT!" because it was, even if it wasn't. Things went wrong but when things went right straight after, it impacts you far greater than you realise, and Jinhwan felt like he was getting the aftereffects of sunshine pouring down on him. That was until basically everyone in the mall looked towards him and without a doubt, there was already whispering, yelling, and running before Jinhwan was running himself, laughing like a maniac because gosh, he seriously didn't have an image to protect from the way he acted. But his manager knew that, his fans knew that, the entirety of South _Korea_ knew that and so here we are.

A day would always be something if it was doused in milkshake and coffee.

 


	2. stories and beds

It was incredibly late when Jinhwan turned up at his apartment that he shared with someone that he'd probably call his best friend, Bobby. Or Jiwon. Jinhwan usually switched between both names because he never had to call him Bobby when they knew each other before they both got famous, but it was a different story in things like interviews. But no matter what name, Jiwon was weird. Jinhwan loved him, though.

Jinhwan was tired out, his mask coming off and his sunglasses slipping because of how much he was sweating, but it was a cold sweat. Though either way, it wasn't amazingly pleasant and he couldn't wait to just walk into his second home and crash on the sofa, leaving the 'famous and spectacular' version of him behind and stripping down to the simple Jinhwan that he was who missed everyday life.

"You awake, Bob?" Jinhwan called out, his voice even raspier than usual but he just left it down to weariness. He sighed softly when he didn't get an answer, closing the door as quietly as he could behind him but then he heard a small scuffle.

And then another.

And Jinhwan rolled his eyes, instantly realising what was going on. "Guys, no-"

"WELCOME BACK, HYUUUUNG!" a hyped up Jiwon roared out of nowhere, jumping up from behind the sofa while Hanbin ran circles around him, shaking something that seemed like a bottle of champagne. Jinhwan tried his best to make them out, squinting a little. 

"Guys, it's...it's so dark..."

Jiwon and Hanbin instantly froze before looking at each other, then at Jinhwan, then Hanbin hissed, "Chanwoo, you had _one job-_ "

"Okay, okay!" the boy yelped and sure enough, the lights flickered on then and Hanbin and Jiwon were back to being crazy, hollering and dangerously throwing the champagne up and down. Jinhwan had absolutely no idea why this touched him so much but it was probably because, by some sort of miracle, he had actually missed these idiots.

"HYUNG!" a loud voice yelled and Donghyuk and Yunhyeong came into view, making Jinhwan's eyes widen as he ran towards them and collapsed into their outstretched arms. 

"Oh my God, you guys-"

"We couldn't miss this for the world, not if it was all for our shortie—I mean, hyung!" Donghyuk instantly corrected himself when Jinhwan sent him a glare, but it wasn't long before that melted into a soft grin as he tried to hug both of them again and ended up getting squished. 

"You guysh are the _besht._ "

"Oh, we know, trust me," Yunhyeong answered, trying to sound cool and Jinhwan barked in laughter, but then Jiwon cleared his throat and stood on the sofa, making everyone look at him. Jinhwan's eyes widened and he tried to make his way towards the other, worried as heck.

"Please don't fall, I'm not looking for another lawsuit, and where the hell did you get a megaphone-"

"LET'S WELCOME TO THE STAGE, OUR DARLING KOO JUNHOE!"

Everyone cheered as a person spun out of the kitchen, making a loud noise that reminded Jinhwan of ancient martial art films. He craned his neck to try and get a better view of the mystery guy but suddenly, something was being poured all over him and his mouth dropped open. "What the..."

Jiwon had a hand over his mouth as he stood behind him (when did he even get there?) with the almost empty champagne bottle, gulping a little. "I-I didn't realise the cork was so loose..."

"Oh, thanks for ruining my moment," the 'Junhoe' guy, Jinhwan assumed, said with a voice that was dastardly familiar. "And this guy's already been hit by a milkshake today-"

"Is...has that been all over the news?" Jinhwan asked worriedly, looking down and hugging himself as he shivered a little and the others all frowned, uneasy as they looked at each other.

"Well..."

"Who cares?!" Junhoe suddenly yelled out a moment later which just made things more awkward, making him turn a little red. Jiwon whispered to Jinhwan, "He's super loud, just a heads up, but he means well."

"I mean, someone...someone help him clean himself up or something, I don't know-"

"Why are you being like this, you don't even know him," Donghyuk snorted, putting an arm around Junhoe's shoulders and it was at that point that Jinhwan decided to look up, still dripping and cold as heck. And even though he kind of already subconsciously knew in the back of his mind, he got the shock of his life when he saw his barista there, smiling sheepishly and raising a hand for a shy wave.

"Hi, again."

"...hey."

***

**Ten hours earlier**

Jiwon instantly woke up when he heard loud knocking on his door, the magazine that had been on his face slipping to the ground. He wasn't sure what to do for a moment before he hopped up and ran to the door with all his might. "JUNHOE?!"

"HYUNG?!"

"Oh my _God,_ why did I encourage that," Jiwon winced, rubbing his ear as he opened the door and, sure enough, Junhoe was standing there with a huge grin on his face. It was funny, really, because the two were childhood friends and used to hang out all the time but then university distanced them, as well as Jiwon making his way into the music world, and then they had met up along with Hanbin at YG and it was the awkwardest thing in the world. They could barely make eye-contact and kept on shuffling about; so then Hanbin basically forced them to spend more time together and oddly...oddly, they both enjoyed it more than they thought they would.

Weird.

"So why'd you call me over?" Junhoe asked and Jiwon peeked outside the door, looking left and right before quickly pulling Junhoe into the apartment and slamming the door behind them.

"Well, Jinhwan-hyung came back today."

"Ahhh, right, I heard about that. All over the news and stuff," Junhoe replied, his smile never leaving as he leant against the wall beside him and very nearly missed it somehow. "You happy?"

Jiwon didn't really need to know about his and Jinhwan's earlier encounter, right?

"Don't you work at the coffee shop at the airport? You didn't see him or...hear a ton of screams or something?"

Junhoe simply shrugged, raising his hand to casually take a sip of a drink before realising he didn't have one. "I don't remember these things."

Jiwon gave him an odd look, opening his mouth to question him but instead, he just dropped it and jumped onto his sofa, gesturing Junhoe over with a careless wave. The other followed, and soon they were both lazy slugs draped over the couch. "I've known Jinhwan-hyung for years, you know?"

"I know."

"Him and Hanbin. At one point, they were honestly my everything—they kinda still are now but not as much as before 'cause now I've actually...got something to _show_ for myself."

Junhoe smiled sympathetically, turning to the side to look at Jiwon who seemed wistful. "You've grown so much, you know, since when we were kids. Look at you, world-class rapper, am I right?"

Jiwon snorted, looking down a little embarrassedly. "Sure." But then he crossed his arms and sent Junhoe a judging look, grumbling disappointedly, "You would have made such a great singer."

"I...I know," Junhoe muttered, but Jiwon knew it wasn't in an arrogant way. It was the truth anyway. "But my parents didn't support and I didn't have any friends and I just...I hated being a trainee."

"If you stuck around, you would've got somewhere."

"Maybe."

They were both quiet after that, looking down and fiddling with all sorts of things like their own fingers or the hems of their shirts. Soon, Jiwon said rather loudly, "So, about Jinhwan-hyung!"

Junhoe nodded very frantically. "Yes, him!"

Jiwon racked his brain to try and find something to say, looking like a gormless fish with his mouth open so Junhoe decided to get a conversation going for once. "Hey, tell me what Jinhwan-ssi was like as a trainee."

"Wha—aren't you already sick of me talking about him all the time?"

"Not really."

Jiwon sighed loudly before he leant back even further into the sofa, smiling a little. "He was ambitious. He was the best at carrying the world on his back, and he was mine and Hanbin's glue, the person who kept us optimistic and fighting. I would miss him even if he just stepped out of the room for a moment..."

And while Jiwon kept talking with his smile getting bigger and bigger, Junhoe listened with a warm feeling in his heart. For quite a while now, Jiwon had been telling Junhoe basically everything there was to know about Jinhwan but not as the famous singer, but instead, the hardworking sweet guy he was behind the scenes. At first, Junhoe didn't know how to feel but then he realised that Jiwon was just missing his best friend and this made the guy happy and if that was the case, Junhoe would listen to whatever Jiwon would say. And he'd listen. And listen some more. And he'd remember it all, too.

And then Junhoe couldn't help but think that he knew this guy so incredibly well, all through Jiwon's words. But there was one thing that he was scared about...he really hoped that he wasn't falling for a guy who sounded so amazing but who he had never met before except for a mere few minutes in a coffee shop.

 _Pfft, no way,_ Junhoe immediately dismissed, tuning back in the instant Jiwon clamped his hands on the younger's shoulders. "Dude!"

"Yeah!"

"We gotta prepare for Jinhwan's welcome back, like I told you earlier, so could you get the champagne?"

"You and champagne...something's gonna go wrong," Junhoe mocked, bursting into laughter when Jiwon gasped like the biggest drama queen ever.

"How _dare-_ "

The doorbell rang and Jiwon instantly scrambled up like a puppy, running like he was being chased by a demon. Junhoe was almost dying from laughter, trying his best not to fall off the sofa as he yelled, "I-IT'S PROBABLY NOT HIM, YOU KNOW-"

"I KNOW BUT...JUST IN CASE!" Jiwon screeched back and Junhoe finally did fall off the sofa, not sure whether to laugh or cry from the pain. Maybe both, since the floor was pretty hard.

***

Back to present time, Jinhwan was just about to say something else to Junhoe when Jiwon attacked him into a hug from behind, making him laugh. "Ahh, bro-"

"Don't judge me, I have a right," Jiwon grumbled, laying his head on Jinhwan's shoulder before he looked at Junhoe and grinned. "Ah, hyung, this is Junhoe, he-"

"We've met," Jinhwan said slowly, his words hesitant as if he was wondering how to use them, and Junhoe quickly tried to explain as Jiwon's eyes widened.

"WAIT, it was only today and never ever ever before, it was very recent so you can't murder me, please don't murder me!"

Jiwon narrowed his eyes before slowly dropping his chin back onto Jinhwan's shoulder, giving Junhoe an accusing look. "Aight, I believe you..."

"So...so you're Koo Junhoe? The guy Jiwon talks about sometimes who's in love with himself?" Jinhwan asked innocently only for Jiwon to burst into muffled laughter as Junhoe glared at him, quickly trying to neutralise his expression when he looked back at Jinhwan.

"Yeah but I mean, I'm not in love with myself-"

"You once said you wished you could just marry yourself!"

"That was after a really hard break-up and come on, I'm pretty great, you gotta admit-"

"Pfft, I'm better-"

"Lies-"

"ARE YOU SAYING I'M NOT?!" Jiwon gasped melodramatically, his hands on Jinhwan tightening which almost made the elder choke. Junhoe seemed to be caught in a rut, stammering a little before he found an answer. "U-Uh, well, no but-"

"HUZZAH, SO YOU ADMIT-"

"WAIT, NO-"

"Jinani, who do you like better, me or this owl?" Jiwon asked, pressing his face up against Jinhwan's one with a sweet smile. The elder looked at Junhoe's hair properly and grinned in realisation. "

His hair is kinda like an owl's-"

"Of course he'd choose you, we just met today," Junhoe scoffed, crossing his arms but Jinhwan shook his head and reached out to pull on Junhoe's sleeve.

"It's not like that, I like you, I swear!"

"He's just being nice 'cause he's like that," Jiwon said smugly, pulling back when Jinhwan pretended to hit him. "Hey, I'm being nice to you!"

"I can be the devil when I want to be, you know that."

"Yeah, and then you get all mean," Jiwon frowned, letting go of Jinhwan and slowly slinking away to an unsuspecting Hanbin. Jinhwan turned to Junhoe then who looked like he was just about to leave too.

"Hi."

"H-Heeyy," Junhoe said in a hiccupy, surprised voice, not having expected Jinhwan to address him at all. "What's up?"

"All these years and we've never met. Where have you been hiding, Koo Junhoe?" Jinhwan asked in pure curiosity, eyebrows furrowed as he crossed his arms. Junhoe blinked a few times too many, looking from side to side to see if there was any way he could get out of this before he sighed heavily.

"I just...I don't know. I just always avoided meeting you, which was easy when you take into account that you're all famous but also hard 'cause you're friends with like five of mine."

"How did that happen, especially _without_ _me_ 'cause I feel offended," Jinhwan frowned sadly and Junhoe hesitated before deciding to answer truthfully with, "Jiwon-hyung and I were kinda childhood friends but we fell out of touch, but later I became a YG trainee who just...kept on trying his best to avoid you."

"But I'm not scary, right? Is it because of my eyeliner? I can tone that down if you want," Jinhwan said worriedly but Junhoe shook his head in amusement, reaching out as if to pat Jinhwan's head but he froze midway, realising how utterly odd that might seem so he slowly withdrew his hand.

"No way, you're absolutely great and everything but I was kind of always listening to the others, especially Jiwon-hyung, talk about you and they built you up to be this untouchably amazing, sweet person and I was just scared to meet the guy they all loved so much. I was just certain I'd mess up somehow."

Jinhwan didn't reply for a moment and Junhoe was pretty terrified as he wondered what was running through the guy's mind. Why did Junhoe always have to mess up everything? Would the others not talk to him again if Jinhwan ended up disliking him?

"Look," a voice chirped which snapped Junhoe out of his daze enough to see Jinhwan holding up the coffee cup from earlier with a huge grin on his face. Junhoe's cheesy message was still all over it, amazingly in tact and unblemished. "This, this wonderful thing proves you didn't mess up. Besides, I liked you the moment I laid eyes on you so don't worry about my 'approval' or whatever."

"Wha...I...you...huh?" Junhoe asked in absolute bewilderment, trying his very best to rack his brains for a cool, suave answer but before he could, Jinhwan had taken hold of his hand and was dragging him towards somewhere.

"Come on, keep me company while I'm in bed."

"I could be in it with you if you'd like that," Junhoe blurted out without thinking and before he could throw himself out a window, Jinhwan turned and gave him an impressed look. "Good game, Koo, good game."

"That a yes, then?" Junhoe asked cheekily and Jinhwan snorted, pulling Junhoe into a room before kicking the door closed.

"Don't push it."

 


	3. red curtains and kisses

"Oh my...God," Junhoe said in wonder as he walked into Jinhwan's room since naturally, the first things he caught sight of were the red curtains. The moonlight shone behind them which cast the whole place in a soft, reddish light that was oddly beautiful but, "This looks a little racy."

"Shh, that's not why I got them," Jinhwan grumbled before he looked at the curtains thoughtfully. "Though, truth be told, I don't mind that much that it does..."

"'Course you don't," Junhoe snorted, remembering the others saying multiple times that Jinhwan had this thing about wanting to come across as 'sexy'. Yet Jinhwan wasn't doing too bad of a job at it and maybe Junhoe really shouldn't be fantasising about the best friends' best friend but he honestly couldn't help it.

Jinhwan sighed loudly as he fell back onto his bed, spreading his limbs out like a starfish. "Ah, I've missed this place so much...I feel like Dorothy, when she clicked those red heels and went home..."

"What a manly thing to say," Junhoe said solemnly as he looked around, fidgeting a little as he wondered if he should go anywhere instead of just standing there like an awkward mannequin (the truth doesn't always have to make sense) but he was saved when Jinhwan pointed at the computer chair next to the bed with his foot. "Ah, right, knew that."

Jinhwan smiled a little as Junhoe rushed over to take a seat, relaxing instantly in the comfy chair that swallowed him a little. Junhoe couldn't help but wonder what it must be like for _Jinhwan_ to sit in it, then.

"So tell me, mystery human, what are your intentions?" Jinhwan asked, trying to sound posh with raised eyebrows, propping himself up a little as he stared head-on at Junhoe. The younger blinked, completely unsure how to answer because he felt too much on the spot.

"Uh...I...don't know?"

"You intimidated to be in my presence?" Jinhwan asked with a grin but Junhoe simply shook his head.

"Nah, I'm used to knowing famous people."

"Well, darn..."

"And, I guess...I guess I _kind_ of know you a little bit."

Jinhwan properly sat up then, curiously looking at Junhoe who was looking down and kicking his legs back and forth like a shy kid on his first day of school. He didn't seem like the shy sort so he was probably just avoiding elaborating on what he had said, but Jinhwan was never going to let that slide so easily. "And how would that work?"

"I don't know...the others just...talk about you a lot? Or well, I kind of ask them to sometimes...oh wow, I've just exposed myself as a creep."

Jinhwan grinned, biting his lip as he stretched his arms out a little. "You're a sweet creep, so I don't mind all that much."

"Still a creep, though," Junhoe mumbled, though he still ended up smiling and Jinhwan _really_ liked how he looked when he smiled. Junhoe was honestly a beautiful thing, and Jinhwan wondered how the boy would feel if he took it from 0 to 100 and kissed him right then and there. That probably wouldn't go down well but Jinhwan was leaning very close to 'do it, don't you _dare_ miss this opportunity'.

"So, what kinds of things do they tell you about me?" Jinhwan asked nonchalantly, trying to seem casual even though he was burning with curiosity, and Junhoe's smile turned a bit amused.

"I knew you'd ask."

"I have no idea what you're talking about, sir, I'm innocent."

"Oh sure thing, sure...hm...they just tell me some stories and, talk about how you're kind and sweet and friendly and super flirty-"

"That's truer than you know," Jinhwan said, casting his voice to be as smooth as honey as he sent Junhoe a wink and the younger winced, covering his face before muttering, "It's too _strong._ "

Jinhwan grinned at the sweet reaction, flopping his head back onto his bed and after a few moments, his smile started fading. While Junhoe was simply trying out different sitting positions, putting one leg over another before kicking them out in front of him and he finally settled on bringing them up to cross them but he instantly regretted it since they were too darn long. "God's sake..."

"It's been a while since I've _properly_ met someone new," Jinhwan murmured, his voice soft as he flicked his eyes over to Junhoe, "and you're here to stay, aren't you?"

"Well, I'll go the instant you want me to," Junhoe said bluntly which got a snort out of Jinhwan. "Though I'm more sensitive then I look so I'll probably be sad and knowing you, you'd probably get sad too and then everyone'll get sad and it'll be like some kind of crying fest, oh my God, please don't tell me to go-"

"I won't, I won't nor am I denying any of that but...pft, you said 'knowing me'. God, it really _does_ seem like you know me inside out and it's weird." Jinhwan scrunched up his face and shivered a little, lazily pulling on the blanket that he wasn't bothered to pull up. "W to the e to the...ird...I tell you."

"Oh, trust me, it'll be much weirder if I was obsessed with you...which- which it's actually pretty hard _not_ to be," Junhoe mumbled, almost whispering the last part so the latter wouldn't hear it as he got up to fix Jinhwan's trauma by putting it over the guy. Though Jinhwan _had_ heard it and he was biting back a shy smile as he snuggled into bed, his eyes peering up at Junhoe who looked a little like a caring pet owner with how tall he was and his soft looks and Jinhwan felt like the biggest cat alive. Well...uh...disregarding _actual_ big cats. We're going with house cats.

"If I go to sleep, will it be like those sad stories where you put me to bed and then when I wake up, you're gone and I never see you again?" Jinhwan asked quietly, his voice a little slurred from tiredness and Junhoe raised an eyebrow, the edge of his lips tilting up a little as he tucked the corners of Jinhwan's blankets inwards for some odd reason, and Jinhwan felt like a little kid again. "Will that happen?"

"I don't know, really."

"Then kiss me," Jinhwan said so matter-of-factly and Junhoe's head snapped towards him, his eyes wide and confused. "Like in fairytales. It's not like I'll remember, anyway."

"I c-can't just _do_ that, I don't-"

"Are you a prince or not, young traveller?" Jinhwan huffed, narrowing his eyes so much that he was basically closing them and Junhoe felt even more confused, especially since Jinhwan seemed so darn adamant yet tired at the same time.

"I'm...I'm actually neither of those things but-"

"If no, you're still my prince!"

"Dear God, what is this..."

"Though I'm no princess, hell nah, maybe I can be a dragon!"

"Someone please help me-"

"Wait, don't princes slay dragons...oh no, I'mma be slain, this isn't good-"

"Ugh," Junhoe whined finally over Jinhwan's incessant babbling, looking in every direction he possibly could to make sure no-one was looking before he quickly leant in and pecked Jinhwan's lips. The elder shut up instantly, his eyes slowly growing wide and Junhoe felt a burst of something exotic wash over him as their lips met (maybe it was just a lip gloss flavour but Junhoe kind of hoped it was something more than that), which was what made him pull away almost instantly, breathing hard as he wondered why on _earth_ he had just done that. But he found out why the instant Jinhwan smiled at him, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he said, "Goodnight, Junhoe."

Junhoe's reply sounded like words trapped in a sigh of relief since he had finally got Jinhwan to stop sounding drunk. "Sweet dreams."

Then Jinhwan was out in seconds and Junhoe slumped in his chair, his heart beating wildly and his face tinting the slightest bit red, and he couldn't help but feel like kissing Jinhwan definitely made it onto the top ten of the list of stupidest things he had ever done. 

And Junhoe had done a whole lot of stupid things in his lifetime.

 


	4. diss tracks and attacks

It was pretty late when Jinhwan was aroused from sleep, his hair the messiest it had ever been and his mind feeling a little clouded. He peered up at the ceiling, rubbing his eyes as he muttered groggily, "Is this the real life...?" 

_No escape from reality..._

He felt okay soon enough, except he found the fact that he was still in his clothes from yesterday a bit annoying. It made Jinhwan sigh as he tugged at his sleeves, looking at himself in his mirror and- well, to be honest, he looked quite hot with messy hair and half-lidded eyes from sleep. He couldn't resist winking at the mirror before he cringed so terribly that he had to race into the bathroom. He may be cute but he was gross and he had to admit that sometimes. He also couldn't remember much from last night, even though he hadn't drunk a drop of alcohol. He remembered being tired as heck, and small fragments of the party, and he knew...he knew he had made someone come into his room with him...

Koo Junhoe, that's what Jiwon said, right? The barista, Jinhwan thought, trying to rack his brains before his eyes widened and he quickly looked down at himself, even though he had just done that a few moments ago. _Agh, thank God I've still got all my clothes on...then that means we didn't do anything._

He pulled on the nearest hoodie he could find which was lying on his chair; he wasn't usually the type of person to put clothes there, but he was too disoriented to question it. And then he was dragging himself to the sink and slapping water on his face, getting ready for a day filled with...well, nothing if he had anything to say about it. But then Jinhwan suddenly had a memory of his lips tingling, and he didn't know what to think of it.

***

"Ooh," Junhoe murmured in wonder, his eyes glued to the phone screen. Chilling in Jiwon's apartment was literally all he did nowadays since it wasn't really like he had anything to do when he wasn't working, and he had been watching tons of vine compilations before he got sidetracked and somehow ended up watching one of Jinhwan's music videos. He had pretty much never searched up Jinhwan's name which was only because with Jiwon and the others having told him so much about the Jinhwan _they_ knew, Junhoe thought that it would only be strange to find out about the Jinhwan that the _media_ knew. Who knew, maybe the two personas were so different that he would never be able to get his head around it?

But then this video just reeled him in by the song name - 'Sick in the Head', featuring Jiwon.

Even though Jinhwan was a singer, it honestly gave Junhoe vibes of a rap song. It was a clear diss, starting off with Jinhwan, made to look like some sort of insane but pretty zombie thing stuck in a strait-jacket in a dimly-lit room, staring at the ground while he stayed completely stock-still. It kind of sent shivers down Junhoe's spine.

 _"Ha,"_ was the first hint of noise, a derisive, humourless snort that went with a corner of Jinhwan's lips curling up to form some sort of steel smirk. _"This is where you want me to be...but it's never happening."_

And then the room faded into a high street and Jinhwan was sitting leisurely on the ground with his back against a wall, clad in some of the most chic clothes ever as he grinned at the camera and Junhoe felt rather attacked by that and he did _not_  come here to be attacked.

 _"If I'm sick in the head, what's my cure?"_ Jinhwan sang with a faux innocent look before Jiwon jumped onto the screen, shrugging as he said, _"Well let's try oppression, discipline, there's so much there to keep you 'pure'."_

_"But I'm fine the way I am."_

_"Oh, try and say that to them."_

Jinhwan and Jiwon both looked back to see a riot of people suddenly running down the street, holding up signs that were filled with such an amount of homophobia that would make your head reel, and Junhoe finally understood what was going on. Quite late but he was trying.

 _"'You'll make it far!'"_ Jinhwan cheered, now on a stage in front of a sea of reporters trying to get his opinion on meaningless things, _"well, try saying that to the guy who likes men, such a prejudice that holds him back from every chance that he gets—switching impressions in a moment with just a few words, 'cause I'm seen as simply sick in the head when I say-"_ Jinhwan pulled one of the reporters up on stage and spat in his face, _"'I'm gay'."_

"This is so deep, someone save me," Junhoe whimpered even though he couldn't take his eyes off the screen, off of Jinhwan who looked so hot and empowered and wow—

_"'YOU'RE SICK, MR KIM!'"_

_"Hell yeah, sick is right, I'm stuck in an illness caused by bastards who are all closed and uptight, it's called 'homophobia'—oh, you've heard of it? Yet you just stand by doing nothing when they're all talking shit."_

The salt. Junhoe felt very seasoned.

_"I'm growing better by the second but for every blessing there's a curse—it's starting to matter less how the world's changing since it'll always be the worst—fuck you Korea (toxic, toxic), fuck you Earth (fix this, fix this), if there's one thing that I'll know, cover your ears if you're sensitive, this world is too corrupted and all your empty promises to change—I'm over it."_

Junhoe was in a trance for the rest of the video, barely blinking. Jiwon's rap was calm fire upped from Jinhwan's sharp tongue, a whisper-rap that would put anyone on the edge whilst simultaneously feeling the urge to ask Jiwon to marry him. Even Junhoe wanted to do that for a moment and he didn't even like hip-hop.

"Nooo, it's almost finished," Junhoe whined quietly, but he was glad he was still focusing because the last bit was what truly got him. Jinhwan and Jiwon were back in that dimly-lit room but neither of them were in strait jackets and they were only looking at each other as Jinhwan sang, "Look at me and tell me I'm crazy."

 _"Look at me and tell me I'm gone,"_ Jiwon went next, and then the two were taking one step closer to each other.

_"Are we shot down because we're wrong, or because we're not allowed to be right?"_

_"We're not wrong."_

_"We're not wrong."_

_"We're all humans, you and I."_

_"Just be strong."_

_"We're not wrong."_

_"So if they say you are, just go 'so long' 'cause you've never been-"_

_"We'll never be-"_

_"Sick in the head."_

Junhoe could almost taste the non-existent mic drop but before he could think more about that, his attention was snapped when Jinhwan was suddenly pulling Jiwon into a kiss and— "Oh my _freaking God-_ "

Junhoe threw his phone at the other side of the room without thinking, absolutely shaken and wondering if he had just hallucinated that and that this was all a dream and the arguably best diss in the world didn't exist—well, that would be a little sad, actually—

"WHERE'S THE FIRE?!" a raspy voice yelped and suddenly, a wild, messy-haired Jinhwan appeared at the hall's doorway and Junhoe felt even more targeted. "Dude, what happened...?"

"I'm here," Junhoe called out after waiting out a few moments of Jinhwan squinting tiredly across the room. "It's just me, not...not Jiwon-hyung or anything-"

"Doesn't matter, did anything happen to you?"

"Oh..." Junhoe looked over at his phone lying helpless on the floor and then at Jinhwan, swallowing when he remembered the beautiful force of rage the guy had been in the music video. "It was nothing, I guess."

"Then why...why the _heck_ would you yell?" Jinhwan frowned, his voice a mixture of a whine and a grumble and Junhoe shrugged, trying to quickly search for an answer while still looking cool.

"I'm...generally loud! Yeah, they don't call me noise pollution for nothing, heh..."

"That actually seems kind of sad. As in upsetting."

Junhoe knew he was losing the conversation as well as his wow factor at that moment so he thought that the best bet would be to change the subject, wondering if he should bring up the video (and ask the burning question of DID HIM AND JIWON ACTUALLY KISS) but then he caught sight of what Jinhwan was wearing. "Hey, that's...that's my hoodie."

Jinhwan blinked, looking at the sleeves before 'ohhh'ing. "Makes sense, I've been wondering why it's drowning me. Wait, I'll give it back in a mome-"

"Keep it," Junhoe piped up, clearing his throat to make his voice less high-pitched as he tried to stop the blush breaking out on his face. "It's cute. I mean, my hoodie's not cute, I'm tryna say you're, uh, cute in it—wait, let me start again-"

"I get it. Thanks," Jinhwan said with an amused grin, sending Junhoe a wink before he was off to the kitchen without another word, and Junhoe collapsed back onto the sofa with a very red face.

"Holy _heck,_ I feel so gay right now."

And then last night's kiss ran through Junhoe's mind and in the next moment, he was punching a cushion with all his might even though the poor thing had done nothing to him.

He wondered if Jinhwan remembered.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ignore my sucky songwriting, it was just relevant :* I really wrote this part of the story so long ago, it's funny to think about


	5. juncheese and weird conversations

"I haven't kissed someone in like...two years?" Jinhwan said to Jiwon with a simple shrug and Junhoe from the other side of the room nearly spat out his tea. "That's not strange, right?"

"Well, I mean, it kinda is if we're talking about _you,_ " Jiwon snorted after he had turned around to check if Junhoe was okay, settling when the younger held up a pained peace sign. "Thought you couldn't survive without a 'daily dose of exposing your fairy charms'?"

"...you mean flirting?"

"That too."

"I may flirt every now and then but I don't _kiss_ anyone. Anyway, it's hella hard to find someone who's into boys in this country so how am I supposed to kiss a guy? You know how gay I am, I exude it."

"Not really, you just give no vibes of anything."

"Hey, firstly, that's rude, and secondly, no-one asked you."

Jiwon gasped in offence, crossing his arms with furrowed eyebrows. "I'll have you know that you're talking to me, good sir-"

"Did I ask?"

"EXCUSE YOU-"

"Did I ASK-"

Even though Junhoe was more than a little scared to interrupt that oh-so-heated...debate...he threw caution to the wind and edged around the men at the kitchen counter to put his cup of tea into the sink. He needed to start thinking more about doing something with his life since it would be really strange to constantly be in Jiwon's apartment while Jinhwan was there too because...no explanation, it was just weird. Junhoe had to grow a pair and start getting out more.

Jinhwan probably thought he was homeless. That wasn't fun.

"But yeah no, I haven't kissed anyone for quite long and I don't find it that strange," Jinhwan answered casually but he whipped his head behind him when he felt an arm lay lightly on his shoulder, as if it was trying to get his attention but it also wasn't going to leave anytime soon. "Ooh, hey, kid-"

"Don't you think that you _could_ have kissed someone? Even if you can't remember?"

"Hmm...maybe."

"Like if you were drunk, or really tired, or if someone drugged you...oh wait, that took a turn that I didn't want it to-"

"What are you trying to say, Junhoe?" Jiwon asked with a raised eyebrow, leaning back in his chair and Junhoe shook his head, raising his arms in surrender even though no-one was about to shoot him no matter how much it felt like it.

"Nothing! I'm just putting across my opinion."

"Bob, didn't you need to go to the toilet?" Jinhwan asked out of nowhere before casually taking a sip of his flute (Junhoe had a lot of respect if that was alcohol so early in the day) and Jiwon's eyes widened as he slammed his hand down onto the table.

" _That's_ what I had to remember! Thanks, hyung, you're a gem."

"Not right back at ya."

Jiwon stuck his tongue out at Jinhwan but left nonetheless and then the other two were left alone, rather conveniently at that. But things got wild pretty fast when Jinhwan spun around to pull Junhoe down by his shirt collar to hiss, "Dude, I _know_ we kissed last night."

Junhoe's mouth dropped open, yelling, "YOU-" before Jinhwan quickly yelped at him to lower the volume and he whispered, "You _knew?_ Ever since this morning too with the—stuff—when—agh, I don't know-"

"Why the fuck were you trying to blow our cover, did you _want_ it to seem hella obvious?" Jinhwan asked with an arched eyebrow, letting go of Junhoe's collar but the latter didn't really move back at all. "I was just trying to keep it lowkey, that's why I didn't bring it up before. Of course I didn't forget, I wasn't drunk or anything."

"Oh true..."

"You seem like a good kisser, I think," Jinhwan murmured as his eyes glossed over Junhoe's lips and the younger froze, feeling like he was being examined for an experiment. Though no scientist would probably lick their lips like Jinhwan just did, which was a stressfully sinful thing to watch. "I couldn't really tell, and I'm still surprised that you even did it...am I really so intimidating that you'd do anything I say?"

"No, not really, I was just trying to shut you up," Junhoe said bluntly and Jinhwan let out a snort, rolling his eyes as he muttered, "Of course you were."

"Wait so...so what now?"

"If I could, I'd kiss you. I feel like I owe you that now."

"O-Oh," Junhoe squeaked in a higher-pitch than he intended, gulping a little as Jinhwan's face grew nearer simultaneously with Junhoe's death but then the elder suddenly leant back completely in his chair, sighing in disappointment, "But yeah, that's not happening. It's cool, I'll never ask you to do anything like that again and I'll _try_ not to do anything to you either...keyword, try."

"Wait wait, what do you mean? You didn't do anything wrong," Junhoe asked with furrowed eyebrows, confused but Jinhwan shrugged, twirling his flute in his hand while looking at it a little sadly. It took a while before he said, "'Cause it'll most probably make you uncomfortable. Tell me, Koo Junhoe, are you even into guys?"

Junhoe honestly wasn't sure how to answer that. He had never really thought in depth about that kind of thing before and maybe that was stupid of him...perhaps he was? He had been attracted to people of the same gender before, right...or perhaps he wasn't, since he'd never dated a guy? God, this was just confusing but he did know one thing, and so it was time for Juncheese to come out.

"I know I'm into _you._ "

Jinhwan just sat there for a second, processing the words with very slow blinks before he flared up faster than fire as he put a hand over his face to try and poorly cover his trauma, whining, "You can't just _say_ something like that after I've literally sworn off putting my hands on you forever!"

"I didn't ask you to do that-"

"I still thought you wanted me to, though!"

"Hey, hey, why would I want a cute guy to stop fawning over me? It makes me feel rather flattered," Junhoe said with a smirk, leaning in close to Jinhwan and taking his flute out of his hand. The elder gulped, trying his best to back up a little and Junhoe kept their eyes locked on each other's the entire time, even as he took a sip from the flute—and instantly spat it out almost onto Jinhwan. "Ew, _EW_ , WHAT _IS_ THAT-"

"Sparkling water?"

Junhoe stared at Jinhwan like he had never been more appalled and slammed the flute onto the table before inwardly stressing when a little bit of it cracked but Jinhwan didn't seem to notice. "That was horrifying."

"Would you rather alcohol?"

"I really love alcohol to be honest."

"Hmm, so do I." Jinhwan snapped his fingers at Junhoe and grinned. "Let's go drinking together sometime. For a bonding ritual."

"Um..." Junhoe felt a little uncertain as he walked around and sat in what had been Jiwon's seat, placing the side of his face in his palm. "I think we've bonded enough already and I don't think that it'll be a good idea to be drunk around each other..."

Jinhwan snorted. "What, you think I'll try something? How _dare_ you think of me so—okay yeah, I most probably will but you don't know that."

"Fact-check, I do now."

"Don't be a smartass."

"I'm no-"

"Think it's time for me to go get on a flight now," Jinhwan sighed so casually, flicking his wrist to check the time on what seemed like a watch from too far into the future. "This was fun, even if we may never speak again."

"What?! No!" Junhoe yelped before shutting his mouth and averting his eyes from Jinhwan's amused face. "That's not fair."

"Mm, you're cute."

"I know."

"Good for you."

Jinhwan stood up and picked up some keys off the counter, making his way around it before turning his head to give Junhoe a look. "Why does it seem like you'll still be here when I come back?"

"I'm not homeless," Junhoe suddenly blurted out and Jinhwan blinked in alarm.

"I...never thought you were or anything, I just-"

"I like this place. I'm really good friends with Jiwon-hyung...woah, when did that happen?"

Jinhwan let out a tiny laugh, sending Junhoe a pleased nod which the younger returned with finger-guns that he immediately regretted.

"You don't know me that well so I don't expect you to miss me or anything," Jinhwan said softly, lowering his voice as he walked around Junhoe like some kind of predator sizing up his prey. "But..."

Jinhwan leant down and wrapped an arm loosely around Junhoe's shoulders from behind, whispering in the younger's ear, "I'll be back in less than a day, let's see if you'll be here then."

"I probably will," Junhoe whispered too, tilting his head back to look into Jinhwan's eyes from upside down and the elder got a little flustered, making Junhoe feel triumphant in an instant no matter how hard his own heart was beating because whoever dared to flirt with _the_ Koo Junhoe had to get payback. "Since I have no life and all that."

Jinhwan was silent, staring down at Junhoe before murmuring, "Didn't I say that I owed you a kiss?"

Junhoe couldn't help but turn a little bit red after that. "This has really been the weirdest second conversation I've ever had with someone..."

"This is our third, maybe fourth, and are you trying to change the subject?"

"If the subject results in you kissing me then yes because I might just punch you. I swear I won't mean it, I'd never want to mar your pretty face on purpose."

"You're so bad at flirting."

"Then why's your heart beating faster?"

Jinhwan seemed to freeze a lot whenever Junhoe said something killer, which was what he was doing now. But then he was letting Junhoe go and taking a step back, rubbing his head. "Did this really happen? It kind of seems like a dream..."

"Want me to pinch you?"

"Hell no-"

"Hyung, your flight leaves in an hour!"

"How do _you_ of all people know that?" Jinhwan muttered quietly with furrowed eyebrows, looking in the general direction of Jiwon's call and Junhoe snorted. "I'm trying to have a very nice conversation here-"

"We can always continue it whenever you get back."

And Jinhwan grinned, nodding as he said, "It's a date."

 


	6. prize whisks and chocolate cake

"Hey, I don't actually think I've ever gone over to your-"

"I'm not homeless!" Junhoe snapped, nudging the drawer he was sifting through closed with his knee. He was on the phone with Chanwoo as he searched for a list that Jiwon had called him earlier about to find. "I've actually got a _reason_ to be at Bobby-hyung's place this time, and I do have my own!"

"Oh really?"

"Yes!"

"Then I'll come over sometime."

"I—okay, sure," Junhoe replied curtly, deciding that it wouldn't help his case if he declined. It wasn't like he properly _minded,_ he just wasn't quite the richest person. Not like his friends were with all their amazing jobs and lifestyles—all Junhoe did was go to uni and part-time at a (rather well-appreciated, to be fair) coffee-shop. "But like...I don't think you'd like it..."

"Oh stop making excuses, it's not like I'd care too much about that kind of thing."

Maybe that was true. Him and Chanwoo went to the same university and even if it was the summer holidays and they didn't see each other as much, Junhoe still liked the guy just as much; he was a little bit more down-to-earth than the others even though he was a world-class actor, and dating one too! Why couldn't _Junhoe_ catch a break like that?

"Maybe I should visit you sometime soon when you get an off day. I'll whip up something special if that ever actually happens."

Junhoe grinned at Chanwoo's almost inaudible cheer of joy (the kid probably pumped his fist in the air too). "Oh my God, come over _now,_ I need something nice to eat, PLEASE-"

"Get your girlfriend to do something!"

"Uh, she's on the other side of the country so explain how I'd do that?!"

Junhoe wrinkled his nose, not even deciding to question the fact that he had only seen the girlfriend in question in town yesterday morning. Pfft, famous people, jetting off to places at the last minute, who did they think they were...

"Wait, so you're at your apartment?"

"Yeah, just for a little while. Waiting for a big call to see if my audition for that movie is going to come through."

"Are _you_ supposed to get that or your agent...? You know what, don't know, don't care. Don't get me involved in showbiz, I'll just drown in it all."

"I guess that's why your my least successful friend then—oh hey look at that, I'm about to be...um, murdered, I gotta go!" Chanwoo said brightly, sounding very calm for his so-called situation and Junhoe narrowed his eyes, not forgetting the earlier comment as he muttered, "Damn straight, you're about to get murdered by me."

He wasn't _that_ unsuccessful, if he was being honest. Just...all of his dreams had fallen through the roof...and he was barely getting by...and barely anything motivated him...but none of that _meant_  anything so Chanwoo could suck it.

"Alright, bye the-" Junhoe blinked when he heard the resounding end tone and frowned, dropping his phone onto the counter out of spite before quickly checking if it was okay because it wasn't like he could afford a new one without a rent setback. But then that was forgotten as he found the list that Jiwon had wanted which made him grin happily, picking it out of the drawer. He didn't look at it out of respect and instead searched for the time, looking all up his arms for a watch before realising that it would be on his phone.

_13:45...oh—oh no, wait, REWIND—_

" _Shit,_ " Junhoe hissed as he shoved his phone into his pocket and raced for the door, crushing the list in his hand and whirling around the staircase to grab his coat. He could only shove in one arm before he was out the door but once again, he was cursing himself. "My freaking _shoes-_ "

He shoved the door back open and squashed his feet into shoes that were hopefully his at record speed while getting his other arm through the coat and finally, _finally_ he was ready to leave the place. He was almost late for work and if he was late for work then he could get fired and then he'd be even poorer and he'd have to sell his prize coffee cup, and whisk, and nunchucks, and blender, just to get by and these were all such terrifying thoughts—

"OW!"

Junhoe immediately slammed into a wall while forgetting to turn left and he staggered back, grumbling as he rubbed his head but he suddenly felt a little bit sobered now. Not that he was drunk. But now he felt a little calmer. If he was about to get fired, then who cared? The streets may be a bad home but at least it was summer and he wouldn't freeze to death. Silver linings were always a nice thing.

***

"Do you remember when Seungkwan-ssi accidentally threw his mic into the crowd?"

"Oh my God, you saw that?!" Jinhwan gasped and Jiwon nodded excitedly in reply. "I was so worried until that little girl on the guy's back caught it, what kind of luck?"

"Apparently his manager told him off pretty bad after that," Jiwon snickered as he grabbed their bags from the floor and motioned for Jinhwan to start walking. "Walked out of the place with his tail between his legs."

"My beautiful manager would _never_ yell at me that much, right?" Jinhwan asked with a honey sweet voice, batting his eyelashes as he looked up at his manager next to him who only rolled his eyes.

"Haha, rejection-"

Jiwon yelped when Jinhwan punched him in the arm before switching personas immediately and waving happily to the fans that were there. Jiwon only had one explanation for this behaviour: Jinhwan was a true psychopath.

They had just got off their return flight from Jeju. There had been a local music festival going on that a few artists from the island had decided to go to, and Jinhwan was one of them even though he was the only Seoulite attending who wasn't an idol. Well, apart from Jiwon who had expressed a huge interest of going and tagged along in the end.

Since they had gone without giving any clue to the public, the arriving flight a few days before wasn't too bad. But now they were being flocked (since people had already seen them make an appearance) and they _just_ barely got to Junhoe's coffee shop without getting squashed. "Freaking hell..."

"Is anyone following?"

Jiwon looked back and shook his head. "Nope, I don't think they saw us go this way. Gosh, I love my fans so much but sometimes I ask myself—why do they love me?"

"Wouldn't we all like to know? But I think the ones here are mostly mine anyway," Jinhwan teased, laughing when Jiwon swatted at his nose. "Besides, why do _you_ love them in the first place?"

"Because they love me."

"And asking why is just a chute towards losing that mutual love. They love you for you and that's the end of that."

"You always know what to say, don't you?"

"I'd say 'it's my charm' but that's a complete lie. I suck at talking."

It was then that Junhoe poked his head out of the kitchen, a few strands of hair over his eyes, a flushed face, some kind of batter on his cheek and a few other places, and a growing beam on his lips when he saw who was there. "You're here early!"

Jinhwan was the first to react to the cheer, turning his head only to be enchanted by how messily beautiful Junhoe looked, like the guy was an angel that had run a marathon through a cake. "O-Oh...Junhoe..."

"Did we come at a bad time?" Jiwon asked with raised eyebrows but he was grinning all the same, pleased to see Junhoe since it had been too long of not seeing the guy break into his apartment. "You seem to be in the middle of something."

"No _way,_ this is my job after all. I'll come in a moment, hold on, hold on..."

And then Junhoe was gone, and all Jinhwan could do was clutch onto Jiwon and whisper louder than he should've, "That, my friend, is a gorgeous specimen."

"What, that?" Jiwon asked confusedly, pointing at the cake underneath the glass in front of them and Jinhwan shook his head.

"No, idiot, Junhoe! Actually, that cake's pretty nice too. Can we have some?"

"Well, you better be paying because I'm not giving any discount to people with bags of money like you two," Junhoe said pointedly as he came out of the kitchen wrapping the uniform apron around him while he came up to the counter. "Would you like any drinks or are you just here to chill?"

"Caramel macchiato. Large," Jinhwan said instantly and Jiwon nodded, continuing, "That, a large Americano, and two slices of this chocolate cake."

"You actually want some of the cake?" Junhoe asked with slightly wide eyes and the other two looked at him strangely.

"Didn't we just say that?"

Junhoe didn't blame them for not knowing why he was internally freaking out a little. It wasn't like they knew that _he_ had made the cake, and that Jinhwan was going to taste his cooking for the first time, and oh God this was scary. But he wouldn't say anything.

"Don't worry about it, coming right up."

Junhoe worked through everything like clockwork, oozing pure muscle memory and Jinhwan looked so impressed at it all that Jiwon couldn't help but laugh. "Ah, hyung, this is literally the only thing he's good at and he's been doing this for a year now. Have you seen him in the gym?"

"I'm better at it now, I can even pull that heavy weight-thingy up twice!" Junhoe yelped angrily as he laid the coffees on the counter along with the cake. "You're just being mean, this isn't all that I have."

"Right, this guy was actually a YG trainee for a good two years. Kept on hiding from-" Jiwon screeched when Junhoe punched him in the arm hard. "What kind of customer service is this?!"

"Is that why you were familiar?" Jinhwan asked even though he hadn't ever thought that and Junhoe furrowed his eyebrows, replying, "No, 'cause you literally never saw me. We talked about this."

"Okay, that's true, I just felt bad so I lied."

"I figured."

"Well, I'm gonna sit down because my feet are still killing me. Don't fraternise for too long," Jiwon said before instantly yawning, grabbing his drink and shuffling to a table. Jinhwan was about to do the same when he saw the dumb grin that Junhoe was giving him.

He really did remind Jinhwan of a puppy.

"What...?"

"Thanks for the compliment earlier. You're not too bad yourself."

Jinhwan blinked, not sure what Junhoe was talking about before it clocked in. "Wha—you heard that? How—agh, it doesn't matter, I bet you already knew that I think you're hot."

"It always _does_ help to hear it out loud, though."

"If you're the type who likes that kind of attention then sure. You want me to call you gorgeous every day, Junhoe-yah?" Jinhwan asked, reaching up to pat Junhoe's head and smiling when the younger dipped his head both to become more accessible and to hide his reddening face. "Wow, a puppy indeed."

"I'm not a puppy, I am a _man,_ " Junhoe whined, moving away from Jinhwan's hand in the end. "A very manly man, so go drink your coffee and eat your cake..."

"I'd rather call you pretty boy than manly man but well, I can't do everything I want," Jinhwan sighed casually, taking the stuff and giggling under his breath at the angry flush of Junhoe's ears. He could already tell that it was going to be the most fun thing in the world to tease Junhoe in the future and he couldn't wait. "You wanna join us, macho kid?"

Junhoe was surprised at the offer which was probably why he turned it down, too confused as to why Jinhwan would want him to join them. Not to mention the fact that he was supposed to be working. "No thanks. Have fun?"

Jinhwan beamed in gratitude before he left and Junhoe let out a small breath, leaning back against the coffee machine. It was still so intimidating every time he was faced with Jinhwan because he was such a fresh, new person but at the same time, he wasn't. From the others, Junhoe knew Jinhwan's favourite colour, his shoe size, the way he got into singing, more, but it was so different to actually be _talking_ to the guy attached to all of the facts he knew.

"Goddamn, this cake is good!" Junhoe heard Jinhwan yelp with a full mouth along with enthusiastic agreement from Jiwon, and that made Junhoe forget about everything else as his heart swelled with pride. That was all Junhoe needed for him to know that him and Jinhwan would get along.

 


	7. pancakes and sugar scenarios

Jiwon and Jinhwan had to say goodbye sooner or later and though Junhoe didn't really want them to go, he wasn't about to admit that.

"That's a nice coat. Cinnamon suits you," Junhoe said randomly as the two were getting ready to leave and Jinhwan blinked, looking down at himself.

"Cinnamon? I just called this light brown..."

"Don't sweat it, Junhoe compares everything to food," Jiwon said, grinning but the younger only frowned.

"I do not! It's just easier that way, or for me at least. Besides, food is a better friend to me than anyone, _naming no names._ " All Junhoe could do was glare when Jiwon sent him a smug wink in reply.

"What would I be as food?" Jinhwan asked curiously and Junhoe was surprised by the question, but he answered just as quickly as he had been asked. It wasn't like he hadn't thought about that a lot, which he probably shouldn't ever admit out loud.

"A baby carrot. Small, quite sweet, vibrant, hurts your tongue a little bit even if that's just when you eat too much."

Jiwon burst into laughter immediately at the comparison, raising his hand for a high-five that Junhoe didn't happen to notice and Jinhwan would have laughed at that if he didn't feel completely and utterly offended. He only got a little speck of justice when Junhoe yelped after Jinhwan punched him in the arm. "Excuse you!"

"I'm excused! Wait, what?"

"Alright, it's time to go, byeee," Jiwon said as he dragged Jinhwan away who still looked more than a little huffy, muttering, "Baby carrot, my _ass,_ " and Junhoe only waved, blowing a kiss that Jinhwan violently batted away like a vicious cat. Junhoe almost doubled over laughing until he remembered that this was a public environment and he should probably be a tad bit more professional.

How fun.

***

Jinhwan walked into his apartment later on in the day, more towards the night with a scowl on his face, shades over his eyes, and a throbbing ache in his head. He had just gone to a meeting to discuss where to go next in his career once he decided to make a comeback and it had taken _hours,_ not to mention that the CEO seemed to care far more for his new girl group than they did for him. Was this mistreatment? Not really. But Jinhwan was still irritated because he had done half the things he had wanted to in triple the time he needed. He needed to unwind somehow but the only thing he could think of was collapsing onto his sofa, and that was all he wanted right now. Though he paused a little when he could smell something cooking. He knew Jiwon wasn't there...had he hired a chef or something?

"Hey, do you want pancakes?" a low voice asked while Jinhwan walked past the kitchen and he instantly nodded, not checking to see who was there as he made a beeline for the sofa. He tasted a small bit of heaven when he finally fell onto it.

"I don't understand why I'm still not taken seriously," Jinhwan suddenly started talking, too annoyed to keep anything bottled up and the 'mhm' he got in return made him continue. "Like what, am I still seen as the kid who turned up to the audition all those years ago looking like a mushroom, or am I just seen as controversy and danger because of who I am and what I've revealed about myself?"

Jinhwan didn't get a reply but he didn't really mind. He wasn't looking for a conversation, he just wanted to vent. "It's so _stupid._ And I know I'm probably overreacting because this entertainment has been faring me really well all these years, but am I growing out of it? Are the younger kids gonna get all the spotlight while I blow over everyone's heads?"

Jinhwan frowned, grabbing a cushion and hugging it close to his chest. "You know what I want? A boyfriend. I want someone who'd cuddle me and tell me everything's okay, is that too much to ask? Pfft, of course it is. Even if YG's letting me date now, who's to say that he won't shut it down the instant it happens—and who's to say that anyone will even _want_ to date me?! This is stupid, everything's so stupid...maybe it'll all turn okay but it's just getting harder to believe that."

Jinhwan let out a quiet sigh, draping an arm over his eyes and frowning a little when he realised that his feet didn't quite reach the end of the sofa. But it wasn't long before he heard soft footsteps make their way over to him and someone crouched down next to him, whispering, "If you wanna rant some more then that's completely fine, but I just wanna let you know that I'll put your pancakes on this ugly coffee table thing. Eat them when you want to. Also, sorry for calling this ugly...even though it kinda is..."

"Junhoe," Jinhwan mumbled before he blinked, moving his arm away from his eyes. "Wait, Junhoe-yah, it was you?"

"Well, yeah, who else would it-"

Jinhwan sat up a little, reaching out his arms blindly before he finally got them around Junhoe and hugged him as tight as he could. He almost laughed at Junhoe's strangled yelps of confusion but he was still too tired and annoyed—though _maybe_ he softened up a little when Junhoe gave in and wrapped his arms around Jinhwan too.

"I like hugs," Jinhwan grumbled, squishing his face against Junhoe's shoulder, "so if you're gonna stick around, then you might need to get used to this."

"I could try and deal with that," Junhoe replied and Jinhwan had to smile at that, squeezing Junhoe tightly before he finally let him go. Jinhwan's heart stuttered a little at the worried look that Junhoe gave him, full of doe eyes and just _ever_ -so-slightly pouty lips, like you could barely even notice them if you weren't close enough. But Jinhwan was, and it was just plain enchanting. "You doing okay?"

"Yeah. Uh...no."

"Well, that's alright. It's hard to always be okay."

Jinhwan's smile turned a little sad at the simple words. "You're right."

"I don't know much, but I know a little bit about the entertainment industry and I get how hard it must be," Junhoe said, sitting cross-legged on the floor and Jinhwan looked down at him, feeling a little endeared by such a big guy seeming so small. "I mean, I got out of it all before I could get into the limelight but-"

"Yeah, why is that? Why'd you give up on becoming an artist, or idol?"

Junhoe shrugged, looking down at his hands. "Parents didn't support and I didn't really like the trainee life at all. I didn't want to starve myself or lose all my sleep and education or prepare for evaluations that got me scared to death of the outcome. Look, the instant I got a job at the coffee shop which was really such a small job, I quit being a trainee. That was the last push I needed, really."

"I relate to you so bad that it hurts, but...if being an idol was your dream, truly your dream, then you wouldn't have left. So what _is_ your dream, Junhoe?"

"Ugh, I've got no idea," Junhoe mumbled as if he wasn't sure himself if he was lying or not, and Jinhwan looked at him curiously. "Maybe I'll be stuck being a barista for the rest of my life, but I actually really love my job. And I've got no-one to earn for right now except myself and I'm doing well enough. I've got ages left to figure out 'the dream'."

"Oh my _God,_ you know what it is, don't you? You just haven't told anyone," Jinhwan said excitedly, only feeling more sure when Junhoe looked to the side uneasily. "Am I right or am I _right-_ "

"It's just a stupid idea, okay? And it's such a 180 from being an idol that it's almost ridiculous."

"Ooh, ooh, let me guess—magician? Police? Food critic? Comedian? Fireman? Ohhhh my gosh, Junhoe, you'd be the hottest fireman ever, _please_ say it's that or I will sue-"

"I'm not gonna be a fireman!" Junhoe snapped back, pushing Jinhwan's pointing arm down. "Though yeah, I'd be pretty hot as one...but wow, it's funny, your closest one was food critic."

"SPORTS COMMENTATOR!" Jinhwan gasped but he sank back into the sofa at Junhoe's flat look. "Sorry, I'll stop."

"Look, I'm not gonna tell you so just eat your damn pancakes," Junhoe grumbled, getting up and moving away to make way for the most perfect-looking pancakes ever on the table along with a million different toppings in bowls and bottles. Or maybe about eight. Jinhwan's stomach grumbled the instant he set his eyes on it all.

"Woah, Junhoe, they look _amazing_...where'd you get them from?"

"Just somewhere nearby. Hope they taste good."

Jinhwan was tucking into it in near to no time, eating so fast that Junhoe felt slightly concerned for his health but he just figured that Jinhwan hadn't eaten much today—it made sense, even if it was sad sense.

"I'm gonna cry, I'm so happy," Jinhwan mock-sobbed at one point and Junhoe grinned, handing Jinhwan a box of tissues for his crocodile tears before heading back into the kitchen to clean up only to realise that, apart from the ones he had decided to leave for Jiwon, there were no pancakes left for _him_ to eat.

"How ironic," Junhoe sighed as he gathered his spoon and whisk. They were customised, stars on them along with his name and he carried them around everywhere. "Eh, I'll just break into Chanwoo's house next time and make some there while he's at a shoot. Then there won't be any cute, grumpy men to cook for."

***

Jinhwan was surprised when he got up from the couch an hour later and saw that Junhoe was still there, sitting at the kitchen counter while reading something on his phone and looking very concentrated. "Hm...but why would _broccoli_ be needed, that'll just ruin it...eh, maybe I'm just taste-blind-"

"Junhoe?"

Junhoe looked up with a start but smiled when he saw Jinhwan. "Hey, baby carrot."

"Why are you still here?" Jinhwan asked, rubbing his eyes a little as he climbed onto the seat next to Junhoe which took far too much effort. They really needed to get smaller stools. "Don't tell me that I've suddenly got another roommate..."

"Nah, uh...I accidentally flooded part of my apartment after work so, heh. Left the shower on by accident. I'm just waiting here until it properly dries since I've done my best to fix it otherwise."

"Wow...can't you just hire people to fix it?" Jinhwan questioned matter-of-factly, not realising how stuck-up he sounded until he saw the look Junhoe was giving him. "Um, never mind."

"So how about you? You feeling better?"

"Eh, maybe...? I'm not sure. You helped, and so did the pancakes, but it's hard to know for certain."

"Well, you'll get there," Junhoe said like he was the wisest person in the universe and it made Jinhwan snort as he fell into Junhoe's side like he belonged there. Junhoe blinked in surprise, slowly looking down at the elder and feeling a little attacked by how fluffy his hair looked. Junhoe wondered how fluffy it _felt._

"You can stay as long as you want," Jinhwan mumbled, warmth filling him when Junhoe wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "I don't wanna be lonely, Jiwon's at Hanbin's today..."

"Wait, what?" Junhoe yelped in betrayal, eyes widening. "Then why the _fuck_ did I mak- buy him pancakes?!"

"Shh, it's okay, it's alright," Jinhwan said softly, reaching up to pat Junhoe's head like he was a big dog. "You can conduct your revenge later, I'll back you up."

"Nah, I'll just eat them myself, let's see how he likes that."

Jinhwan grinned, still patting Junhoe's head and he collapsed into giggles when Junhoe decided to bark at him. Junhoe smiled proudly, trying not to show that the patting actually felt kinda nice but it started getting difficult when Jinhwan upgraded to scratching him behind the ears. Junhoe really felt jealous of dogs if they got this treatment every day.

"How long are you gonna...do this?" Junhoe asked (more like sighed), feeling like he was slipping in and out of slight bliss and Jinhwan wanted to coo at him.

"Oh my gosh, you really _are_ an overgrown puppy-"

"Am not!" Junhoe defied immediately, his ears turning an angry red and Jinhwan bit his lip to hold back laughter. "I'm just letting you do anything you want 'cause I'm a nice person, duh."

"You _are_ a nice person. A very nice person," Jinhwan said sincerely before craning his neck to peck Junhoe on the cheek, dangerously close to his mouth. "There, now I'm not indebted to you in kisses anymore."

"G-Guess so," Junhoe agreed weakly, knowing instantly that his face had to be pinker than his sister's lipstick. He wanted to bolt more than anything, you could tell just by looking at his face, but Jinhwan was still clinging to him and Junhoe might never have an opportunity like this with a guy this amazingly cute ever again; his gayness just wasn't letting him turn it down.

"By the way, text me where you got those pancakes from later."

"Uhhhhh...I don't have your number."

"You don't?" Jinhwan asked in surprise, sitting up like a confused deer for a moment before he just laid back against Junhoe. "I'll give it to you later."

"My phone doesn't work anymore. It drowned in my apartment."

"Freaking he—you know what, doesn't matter. I'll buy you another one later."

"What? Why? When?!"

"Later."

"But you don't have to-"

"I'm rich, mothertrucker, I can and I will."

"This is gonna turn into a sugar daddy thing, isn't it," Junhoe said desolately, wrapping his arms around Jinhwan mostly to console himself but the elder lit up at the idea, gasping, "Wait, _I'm_ gonna be the sugar daddy?! Yes yes yes, I've read _so_ many stories about this- Junhoe, tomorrow, I'm buying you a car, and a horse, and a building- no, wait for it, _two_ buildings-"

"Oh shush, you wouldn't do any of that, you're too responsible."

Jinhwan deflated instantly, frowning as he kicked Junhoe's foot lightly. "You suck. But you're right, I wouldn't...how do you know that I'm responsible anyway?"

"Haha, whaaat?" Junhoe laughed nervously, averting his eyes elsewhere. "I just...could _guess_ , duh...you seem like the type who'd...you know...responsibilise and, stuff. That's a word, right?"

"Are you talking about 'stuff' or 'responsibilise'?" Jinhwan asked with a raised eyebrow, wriggling out of Junhoe's hold and getting up, deciding to stand right in front of Junhoe who narrowed his eyes at the elder.

"You know which one I'm talking about."

"Not really, I'm still hung up on the sugar thing," Jinhwan sighed disappointedly, placing his hands on Junhoe's shoulders. "It would've been so great."

"I mean, if you really wanna waste your money that bad then sure, you could totally be my sugar daddy. I think I'd do pretty great with it, I just give kisses and get free stuff, right?" Junhoe asked, smiling up at Jinhwan prettily before he paused and coughed a little. "I-I mean, it _is_ still a terrible idea and all..."

"We can think about being sensible tomorrow. For tonight, be my sugar baby," Jinhwan grinned, leaning in for a kiss and Junhoe just let him without thinking, a short, honey-sweet peck before they separated. Junhoe licked his lips after and could faintly taste pancakes and lemon. "So what does my baby want?"

"Nothing. You're enough," Junhoe replied, tugging Jinhwan into the space between his legs. Jinhwan's arms coiled around his neck securely, hands toying with Junhoe's hair and the latter just felt like a puppy all over again.

"Am I really?"

"Oh, sure you are. I wouldn't hang out with someone if they weren't at least a little cool, and I _definitely_ wouldn't kiss someone who's not enough. I have my standards."

"And what are they?"

Junhoe opened his mouth to answer before frowning, realising that he didn't quite know how to. "I'm sure I have some...I just don't really know what they are. Maybe they're subconscious."

"It's alright, you don't need to hurt your pretty head thinking too hard," Jinhwan cut in, snickering at the death glare Junhoe sent him which wasn't scary at all. "You'll figure it out if I'm enough for you."

"You're more than enough, you're amazing, and beautiful-"

" _Stop,_ the sugar daddy's supposed to give the compliments," Jinhwan huffed and Junhoe grinned, pulling Jinhwan closer.

"Compliment me then."

"Hm, but should I?" Jinhwan asked teasingly, leaning so close that Junhoe could feel his warm breath, his fluffy hair tickling his face. "I think you know just how gorgeous you are."

"Well, maybe I do," Junhoe mumbled, trying to swallow down his blush even though that wasn't how blushes worked, "but you know I think that it's always nice hearing it from someone else."

Jinhwan softened up so drastically at that and suddenly, Junhoe was being showered in all sorts of praise which just got him all flustered as he tried to squirm out of it but Jinhwan had him on lock. And it was so strange and no, Junhoe would _not_ allow himself to enjoy it at all because that wasn't right. Besides, he needed to stop with his thoughts about Jinhwan, even if it was like the man himself was leading him on. At the end of the day, Jinhwan would probably never want to fraternise with a low-life like him.

Though he couldn't help but think a little differently when Jinhwan moved in for another kiss, lingering a little this time before he stared Junhoe straight in the eyes and asked, "What are you thinking about?"

Junhoe couldn't answer. Of course he couldn't. So he just kissed Jinhwan's nose and muttered, "Nothing," even though it was far from that, but they'd both be better off if he _was_ just thinking about nothing at all.

 


	8. rage-baking and carousels

**slightlyevilthing**  
_JUNEEEEEEE this is your new number right_

**you**   
_CHANNNNNN yes what do you want_

**slightlyevilthing**  
_):_

**you**   
_oh n oh nO tell me what's wrong_

**slightlyevilthing**  
_it's nothing much, my girlfriend just stood me up again_

**you**   
_what_

**slightlyevilthing**  
_she's probably just busy again ya know_

**you**   
_no what the hell stop giving her excuses! look say it with me, even though she's nice she also sucks sometimes!_

**slightlyevilthing**  
_duDE i'm not gonna say that what if she sees this???_

**you**   
_SHE LOOKS AT YOUR PHONE NOW??_

**slightlyevilthing**  
_no but_

**slightlyevilthing**   
_she's said before that she kinda wants to_

**you**  
_kesjbedjwj she a hoe_

**slightlyevilthing**   
_DUDE_

**you**  
_you can't change my mind! okay so she's not like a proper hoe or anything but don't expect me to be nice to her next time we go out for tea >:(_

**you**   
_no scrATCH THAT_

**you**  
_WE'RE NOT GONNA GO OUT FOR TEA AT A L L_

**you**   
_suCK IT 'CHANWOO's GIRLFRIEND' because sworn enemies don't deserve names_

**slightlyevilthing**  
_oh my god stop being overdramatic, can i just come over?_

**you**   
_woAH I don't see you defending yo woman_

**slightlyevilthing**  
_yeah well i'm kinda mad at her_

**you**   
_YES MA BOI_

**you**  
_THIS THE ATTITUDE I NEED_  
 _and sure come over, i'll make an ice-cream cake for us to pig out on_

**slightlyevilthing**   
_YAAAAAAAAY I LOVE YOU_

**you**  
_LOVE YOU TOO BRO OMG what am i doing_

**slightlyevilthing**   
_is no homo appropriate here_

**you**  
_i'm really gay so i'd say no but like i'm not gay for y o u so go ahead_

**slightlyevilthing**   
_nO HOMO_

**you**  
_nO HOMO_

**slightlyevilthing**   
_i hate us_

**you**   
_don't we all_

***

"I gotta say, your place is tiny but it's really not as messy as I thought it would be," Chanwoo said proudly before he swallowed a mouthful of cake and instantly sighed happily. "You, sir, are incredible at your job. They should sell this at your coffee shop."

"You say that about everything I make you—you even said that about my chicken-marshmallow combo," Junhoe snorted and Chanwoo's eyes widened at the memory.

"Okay but that was _good._ I don't know how, don't wanna know how, but it was."

Junhoe rolled his eyes, adapting an irritated façade to hide his bashfulness. "You're the only one I make this stuff for who actually knows _I'm_ making it, anyway. You should really be honoured."

"Just stop telling people you buy it all. Embrace your talent, gosh."

"No way, this stuff is just a stupid hobby...besides, I don't _outright_ tell them anything, they just assume so I go along with it."

Chanwoo simply shrugged and it seemed so condescending that Junhoe felt quite offended but he didn't know that _that_ was the reason he was offended so he decided to drop it because he felt slightly dumb now.

"So, snazzy new phone you got there."

"Please never say snazzy again."

Junhoe's heart lifted a little whenever he saw his phone which was kind of a nuisance since he saw it a lot. But because it was attached to the memory of a parcel being sent to his coffee shop with the note _'hey baby! sugar daddy's got you a little something, enjoy ;)'_ , Junhoe couldn't exactly help it, could he?

"So I guess you're getting to know Jinhwan-hyung now, especially if he's buying you stuff."

Junhoe shrugged, shoving some cake in his mouth to try and hide the fact that he was blushing. But then Chanwoo took one look at him and hit his arm, making Junhoe jump and almost choke. "H-Hey-"

"Are you _into_ him?" Chanwoo asked like it was the most interesting piece of news he had ever known and Junhoe groaned in reply, deciding to throw all caution to the wind because he really needed someone to talk to about all of this.

"How could I not be?! He's like the perfect mix between hot and adorable, not to mention he keeps hitting on me—well, it's not like I'm telling him not to."

"Wooow, this is strange," Chanwoo hummed, ignoring Junhoe's glare. "I mean, I know Jinhwan-hyung loves to flirt but he usually makes people his friends are friends with off-limits...I think. It's been a while since he's been involved with anyone, maybe he's just having fun 'cause you're all young and pretty, maybe he thinks you're easy."

Junhoe furrowed his eyebrows, a little hurt as he looked at his spoon sadly. "I'm not really doing much to make him think I'm not...ugh, why did you have to _say_ that?"

"At least you guys haven't kissed, then you'll be in too deep," Chanwoo said dismissively as he ate some more cake and Junhoe tuned rigid, silent before he laughed a little, so high-pitched and awkward that he should've just kept his mouth shut and not chanced Chanwoo's weirded-out look. "You okay there?"

Junhoe only sighed in response and let his head flop onto the table, feeling so annoyed at how dumb he had been. Was he really being toyed with? Was he stupid for getting so enchanted by a person who before a week ago was just a bundle of facts Junhoe had heard from other people? "Chan..."

"Mhm?"

"You wanna be my test-taster? I think I'm gonna be rage-baking for the rest of the day."

Chanwoo's eyes widened out of happiness as he nodded as fast as he could, "Hell yes, oh my _God,_ I love being your friend sometimes."

"Oh shut up, this is the only reason you like me. You're a gold-digger- no wait! Cake-digger."

"Never denied that," Chanwoo grinned brightly, patting Junhoe's back so hard that the elder had to stop himself from wailing in pain. But he would bear it if it meant he had someone to keep him from heading over to wherever Jinhwan was and dumping a ton of cake batter onto his stupid, mean, beautiful face.

***

The next morning was a mild one for Junhoe but it was different because he was probably in the best mood in the world. For one thing, showing up to the coffee shop with tons of new (rage)baked goods was enough to make his boss literally fall in _love_ with him. Of course they couldn't sell it all so he wrapped some up for all of his fellow employees to find later, thinking that they deserved some sweet relief, and then he kept some for himself. It was also another day of meeting fairly famous people (that happened a lot when you were ex-YG and worked at an airport), and he had messed nothing up all day.

Junhoe was on a roll.

He was so happy that he didn't even think about complaining about being too poor to afford a car as he walked home. Like, what was wrong with not having a lot of money? Some rich people could be jerks anyway (naming no names) and Junhoe wasn't about that life. He couldn't even bring himself to be upset when he walked straight into a puddle that seemed three-feet deep.

"Junhoe?"

Junhoe froze, utterly convinced that he was just hearing things. He didn't even look at the car that had pulled up beside him, only walking faster until he realised _well_ _shit, a car has **actually** pulled up beside me, what the-_

"Junhoe, wait, please!"

"Noooo, not happening," Junhoe said quickly, getting ready to bolt but then a hand gently tugged on his sleeve and it was too much. He reluctantly looked to his right and there was Jinhwan sitting in the driver's seat of one of the most beautiful cars ever, his arm reaching out of the rolled-down window for Junhoe. He was smiling yet his eyebrows were slightly creased in worry but Junhoe didn't want to fall for it, still ready to run if he needed to.

"Fancy seeing you here-"

"Your acting is despicable," Junhoe deadpanned, feeling his inner haughtiness that only came out when he was angry, "you so clearly came to catch me before I got home."

"Okay, fine, maybe I did...are you alright?"

"Just peachy. This was nice, I'm gonna go now."

"Wait!"

Junhoe closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath before he opened them and turned around completely, subtly glaring down at Jinhwan and he hoped he was instilling a subdued yet ultimate sense of fear into the elder. "What?"

"Why would I try to catch you if I didn't want to give you a ride?" Jinhwan asked, sounding considerably smaller than he had a moment ago and Junhoe actually felt a little bad. "I just wanted to talk but if you really don't want my company then fine."

Junhoe felt his heart clench a little at the guilt-trip, and he realised that he was getting far too soft these days. "...do I need to pay for gas?"

Jinhwan stared at him like he was absolutely crazy and Junhoe rolled his eyes, walking around the car to get to the passenger's seat. "Sorry, I forgot you were filthy rich."

"No, no, I didn't mean to be pretentious, I just didn't even think that was a question people asked."

"Those were two statements that shouldn't have been put together," Junhoe snorted as he opened the door and slipped into the seat, widening his eyes at how comfortably soft the leather felt. Jinhwan hung his head a little, hands tightening on the steering wheel as he muttered, "Right..."

They drove in silence for a while. It didn't take long for Junhoe to realise that he hadn't given Jinhwan his address but he stayed quiet, wondering how long Jinhwan would aimlessly wander until he noticed too. And Junhoe was nearly getting too sick of the silence when Jinhwan piped, "We need to talk."

"Wow. We're not even dating and it sounds like a break-up."

"That's kind of what I wanted to talk abou- I mean, kind of, not _really,_ but yes really, but without the really. But with the really actually, but then with or without it, it still seems too...legit-"

"Are you speaking a language I know right now?"

Jinhwan let out a soft sigh, shaking his head and Junhoe's eyes lingered on the way his slightly long hair swished with him. "I just really don't know how to approach this kind of thing. I'm so out of practice with..."

"With what?"

"Anything even remotely to do with relationshippy stuff."

Junhoe clenched his jaw, raising an eyebrow. "Well, clearly, if you think that toying with someone is okay."

"Oh my God, I was right. Why do I have to be right, I'm never right!" Jinhwan groaned, stress ladling his voice and Junhoe couldn't even question him before he took a sharp turn into a side road and parked the car not even a second after. Junhoe had been wrong, if Jinhwan wasn't utterly terrified after driving that way then his earlier glare must've done _nothing_ to the guy.

"What do you...what do you mean you were 'right'?"

"Last night," Jinhwan said, sounding so hesitant that Junhoe wondered if this was the same Jinhwan he knew, "it hit me that you probably think that I'm being a royal jerk who's playing you. You're a hot, gay bachelor and that's hella rare to come by, so I don't blame you for thinking I'm using you..."

" _Are_ you?"

Jinhwan confusedly looked at Junhoe who just stared straight back at him blankly. "What?"

"Are you using me?"

Jinhwan's eyes flickered in realisation and he bit his lip, averting his eyes. "Maybe...maybe I have been, without realising."

Junhoe's eyes hardened, his posture instantly becoming stiff but Jinhwan instantly reached out a hand to clasp Junhoe's arm. "Wait, but I never meant to! And I never wanted to, I _don't_ want to so I promise I'll back off. Junhoe, I like you, I really do so I'm so sorry."

And that was it, Junhoe had now been softened to the max. He could barely bring himself to feel angry anymore, not when Jinhwan had to say he liked him in such a cute, desperate way that Junhoe felt slightly dazed with his heart involuntarily on his sleeve. This just went to show that sometimes, Junhoe was a fool who got attached too easily.

"It's okay, hyung. I forgive you."

Jinhwan looked up, cautious hope dancing in his eyes. "Really?"

"Yeah," Junhoe muttered, trying to look casual as he continued jokingly, "I mean, you got me a phone and you're driving me home. Sugar culture is actually turning out to be quite nice."

Jinhwan's mouth fell open at that, his eyes wide in disbelief and Junhoe finally cracked a smile as he leant in close and tapped the elder's chin. "Let me close that for you."

"So you're really not mad," Jinhwan said in a hushed voice filled with specks of surprise, his eyes looking all over Junhoe's face in awe. "But...but I just admitted to-"

"I was mad but then you fixed it all. Don't you worry your pretty little head about it," Junhoe murmured, moving even closer and it was hard to hear if Jinhwan had replied because of the tumultuous sound of his heartbeat whooshing in his ears. It was crazy how Jinhwan could have such an effect on him without even doing anything, but Junhoe was living for it. "Besides, it's kind of flattering, knowing that you're into me."

"Oh come _on,_ you're the type of guy who'd make straight guys gay and I'm already the gayest. You've got me floored."

Junhoe genuinely grinned at that, and he didn't know why he felt light-headed all of a sudden. Maybe it was because Jinhwan decided to gently rest his small, warm hand on Junhoe's jaw, caressing his cheek with his thumb as he whispered, "Can I?"

Junhoe felt pink dust his cheeks when Jinhwan's melted chocolate eyes stared into his, but he felt confident. "Sure, baby carrot."

And Jinhwan closed the distance at his cue and even though it wasn't their first kiss, it sure felt like it. Their lips moved against each other almost timidly like they were scared of what they were doing, but the timidness grew into gentle ease as Junhoe pressed Jinhwan back against the car door and he broke the kiss in fear of getting in too deep. But then Jinhwan kissed him once more, then _again,_ sending wild tremors of warmth down Junhoe's skin until he was addicted. He felt like he was on a carousel powered by nothing because that was possible in the swayingly dizzy world Jinhwan was pushing him into, spinning him around and around even though he was staying perfectly still.

"You're perfect, Junhoe," Jinhwan whispered through another breathless kiss which sent tides of softness surging through Junhoe's body.

"No, you are," Junhoe refuted, finally pulling back only to get attacked by Jinhwan pulling him in again to press a soft kiss to his temple. Junhoe shivered a little, dipping his head as he felt too stupefied to look Jinhwan in the eye. "But thank you..."

"Cutie," Jinhwan teased before raising his arms in surrender when Junhoe glowered at him. "Hey, I just say what I see. Don't hate the player, hate the game."

"But what's the game?"

"Nothing," Jinhwan said after a while, and Junhoe's heart lifted at the words he said next. "There isn't one, 'cause this isn't a game."

Junhoe would have done anything to be able to kiss Jinhwan all night until their lips turned blue but he settled with just one more, a small peck that got Jinhwan smiling uncontrollably and Junhoe felt content. Maybe this was wrong, maybe this was scandalous but Junhoe didn't care if he was the one getting kisses and smiles that lit up his entire life.

Sometimes lines were meant to be crossed.

 


	9. melted chocolate and soufflés

Junhoe had been having a more eventful day than usual, but he knew it was going to happen sooner or later. At the end of his shift, his boss finally gave him his pay-check for the month and he thanked her before leaving the shop and going downtown, a place that he knew for a fact that people like Jinhwan or Yunhyeong would never go and the thought of that made him feel a little sick in the stomach but he tried to get it out of his head.

"You're two weeks overdue," a voice grumbled and Junhoe snorted derisively, holding an envelope of money out as he said confidently, "I said I'd pay you back when I could."

"Alright. Now scram, idiot, pretty boys like you would probably get beaten up if you go too far."

"Stop sounding like you're straight out of a crappy 90s film! It makes me feel worse...this place isn't even that shady. There's a hello kitty shop right there!"

The person smiled as he scribbled something on a piece of paper. "I guess so. Only helps when you've got used to it."

"I'm _not_ a delinquent!" Junhoe yelped angrily, snatching the paper from the other's hand. "I'm just poor, like...a lot of people. Now if you excuse me, I gotta go kick myself out of my apartment."

The person laughed as he waved a dismissive hand at Junhoe who scrunched up his face, not humoured at all before he left as quickly as he could. And just as he expected, once he reached where he lived (well, not anymore), all of his semi-packed stuff was outside the door which was bolted shut. Junhoe stared at it in disbelief, breathing in and out heavily before he slowly sank to the ground in the midst of all of his things and rested his head in his hands. "They could've...they could've given me a _bit_ of time...even, even an hour."

He couldn't be surprised anymore. Not when this had been his life for so long that it didn't mean anything, it didn't mean sadness or prejudice or lack of privilege. Junhoe was just thankful that he was still healthy and getting by in life because that was all that mattered at this point.

Ten minutes later and he was signing into a hotel, smiling charmingly at the receptionist who looked dangerously tired but still confused by the number of bags Junhoe was holding. Then he was lugging himself and his life's worth up the stairs, feeling completely dead before he barged into his room and fell back onto the bed, all his bags around him and he let out a loud sigh.

 _I'm not homeless._ Junhoe kept telling himself. _I'm not. I'm just in a bad- no, undesirable place. It'll get better._

The annoying thing was that Junhoe actually really liked his old place, the one he had just been kicked out of. He had been hoping that he could try and save enough money to properly pay for rent but _pfft,_ that didn't turn out great. The more he thought about it, the sadder he got so he just took out his prize whisk and clenched it tightly for comfort, closing his eyes even though he wasn't sleepy. He still had a night class to get to in a few hours.

He didn't know how much time passed before he heard the muffled noise of his phone ringing and he raised his head a little, looking around before he sighed and slowly rolled off the bed to land neatly on his arm by his bag that he sifted through quickly. Eventually, he found the phone right at the bottom and even though it was an unknown number, he decided to answer anyway because he had gone to far too much effort for nothing.

"Who is it?" Junhoe asked lazily, shifting his position into a side plank because it made him feel cool. Thank God he was still in shape. "I'm busy."

"It _is_ you! Aw, hell yes, I was scared that Ji gave me the wrong number."

Junhoe's eyes widened, warmth filling him inside slightly as his plank instantly collapsed and he didn't even mind. "O-Oh, hyung, uh...I was just kidding, I'm not busy! I'm...yeah. What's up?"

"Nothing much, it's just been a while. You haven't been around to my apartment in a while."

"Your apartment...? Oh, you mean Jiwon-hyung's, right, 'cause you two live together..."

"You okay? You seem a bit out of it."

"I'm fine!" Junhoe replied quickly, sitting up and dragging himself back onto the bed so he could be in a bit more of a comfortable position. Comfort meant calm, and Junhoe needed to be calm to not make an utter fool of himself. "It's just been a long day. I'm guessing for you too."

"Yeah, you're right..."

There was silence for a moment as Junhoe sat cross-legged and anticipating and Jinhwan seemed to be looking for something or going through paperwork, according to all the rustling that could be heard over the phone. Junhoe wasn't sure if the guy even remembered that he was having a phone conversation but just when he said, "If you're busy, I should go,", Jinhwan chirped hopefully, "Can you come over now?"

Junhoe blinked, stunned and wondering if he had heard right. He wanted to question it but then Jinhwan was quickly saying, "No, I'm not busy! It's just really windy, but I'm nearly home and I literally just travelled across the world this past week and I met so many people yet I still couldn't stop thinking about you."

"What?" Junhoe asked, unable to wrap his head around anything but no matter how confused he was, he could feel the butterflies running rampage in his stomach. "I...I'm literally a _nobody,_ why am I on your mind?"

"You haven't been on my mind 24/7, just every now and then but it's still a lot. When I'm alone, you spring to mind, if I see anything remotely to do with romance, I think about kissing you. I had _pancakes_ this afternoon and even that made me think about you. I think it's just an effect because I like you so much but I see you so little? You're so interesting, Junhoe-yah, you can't call yourself a nobody."

"Why are you doing this to me?" Junhoe asked quietly, his head spinning as he slung an arm over his stomach which was starting to feel a little queasy. "Why do you keep giving me hope that something will happen between us?"

Jinhwan didn't answer for a moment and Junhoe could feel his heart sinking to the ground like stone. No matter what happened, he couldn't shake the feeling that Jinhwan was playing him even when the elder kept denying it. Junhoe wasn't the type of person to experience miracles (the only time was getting into YG and that ended up being something he didn't want) and Jinhwan was a perfect example of one, a beautiful, famous guy who was into him. But no matter how amazing something seemed, Junhoe would always find it hard to believe that anything good was true.

"Come over."

Junhoe's breath hitched because there it was again. Hope. "What?"

"Come over and I'll show you why."

Junhoe gulped, conflicted because in theory, he probably shouldn't go. For one thing, he had that night class in a while and he could always skip it but it was still a _reason._ Also, it was late and Junhoe didn't have a car. Not to mention that he was feeling torn up about Jinhwan right now and seeing him could just make things worse.

"I don't know if that's a good ide-"

"Baby, please," Jinhwan murmured with his caramel-sweet voice that tickled Junhoe's heartstrings and that was it, Junhoe was instantly getting up and grabbing his coat and hotel key, ready to run all the way to Jinhwan's apartment but then he managed to calm down a little upon realising that Jinhwan was still on the line.

"I'll be there in ten."

"Okay," Jinhwan replied, voice uneven as if the guy was trying so hard to hold back a spurt of happiness. Junhoe could sense it, though, and he felt ridiculously warmed on such a cold night. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For letting me know someone like you."

And Junhoe didn't know if he fully got what Jinhwan meant, but something he did understand was how after such a tiresome day, it had only taken five minutes and raw, sweet words to make him as soft as melted chocolate. It was so confusing, thinking about what him and Jinhwan actually were but maybe he didn't _need_ to think about all that just yet and if he put his sensitivity to the side for one moment, perhaps this could work.

***

Barely a second had passed that Junhoe had been in the apartment before Jinhwan pulled his face down (after which he _still_ needed to crane his neck) to kiss his nose and Junhoe's eyes widened, regretfully aware that there was no way to hide how pink his face was turning.

"Hey," Jinhwan said happily and Junhoe was amazed at finally getting to see him in person because it really had been a while. It was just that way with celebrities, sometimes he wouldn't see Jiwon for months on end, sometimes he'd see Yunhyeong every other day but only for a few seconds each time, and so on. He really needed to get some good friends who weren't famous, then he wouldn't be nearly as lonely. "Gosh, I've missed you. Do you want anything? A drink? Dinner? Diamonds? A mansion? An isla-"

"Ugh, stop, you're going into crazed sugar daddy mode," Junhoe sighed, rolling his eyes as he took Jinhwan's hand and led him to the living room like it was his own apartment. "I appreciate the sentiment a lot but you don't need to buy me off."

"But I _want_ to shower you in riches, it makes me feel good-"

"Feel good how, exactly?"

"It's like I'm spoiling you, and I want to spoil you because you look like you're so unused to it and so unused to luxury and it'll just make me happy to give you, you know, that. Luxury. It just makes my heart warm. Even if it's at the smallest expense since money can't buy all."

"You're adorable," Junhoe murmured, his voice filled with soft amusement because he didn't really know how else to feel. "I can't believe you're actually successfully guilting me into letting you buy me stuff."

"Wait, does that mean that you'll let me buy you stu-"

"No."

"Oh..."

"Can I ask you a question?" Junhoe asked when they reached the kitchen, only to move all the things on the counter to the side and pull himself up onto it, grinning when his legs dangled off the side and Jinhwan was blinking up at him in surprise.

"I mean, yeah. Shoot."

"Do I have the potential to become important to you?"

Jinhwan frowned, eyebrows furrowed and expression open and confused, and Junhoe was ready to hear the elder spout a load of bullshit. "You're already important to me-"

"No, we met two weeks ago. There's a fine line between significant importance and acknowledgement of existence. You like me, but do you see me for all I am? You appreciate me, but are you ignoring some sides of me for the good ones? See, I don't know the answers to these questions and I would like to ask you but I don't think you know the answers either. You want this to be simpler than it is and just go like 'I like you, let's have a thing!' but I'm a really complex person, Jinhwan-hyung, I can't just accept it."

"I know, ugh, I _know_ you are," Jinhwan groaned, looking so angry at himself as he took a spoon from the cutlery drawer and squeezed it tightly. Junhoe watched him in amusement as he started pacing back and forth in front of Junhoe like he was going through some serious emotional turmoil, but he wasn't. Junhoe was _sure_ he wasn't. This wasn't that important. "I want to get to know that person, you see, the complex person you are but I don't know how to do it and I keep putting it off or going about it the wrong way."

"Hyung..."

"I don't know what I'm trying to _do._ I don't know if I want to date you or be your friend or a mix of both or just something that can't be labelled."

"You sure you don't want to just have a 'fling'?"

"No, no, that's exactly what I _don't_ want," Jinhwan said quickly, stopping his pacing so he could rest his palms flat against Junhoe's thighs, his hands soft, warm, small, hesitant, polite, all sorts of things and Junhoe felt something in his chest constrict. "Or at the very least, I don't want that with _you._ You deserve more than that."

"Do you think you're not enough?" Junhoe asked curiously, looping his arms around Jinhwan's neck and tugging gently, just so Jinhwan would come closer so Junhoe could feel more of his body, his gentle heat.

"I don't really know."

"You're just like a soufflé. Such simple ingredients but still so incredibly complex and fiddly, and it's like you want to become something else like a cake or a muffin but you're already perfect as you are," Junhoe murmured, raising a hand to lightly caress the side of Jinhwan's face, in a very soft mood but he almost burst out laughing when he saw Jinhwan's crazily confused expression.

"I have absolutely no idea whether to say thank you or not..."

"I don't particularly blame you."

"First I'm a baby carrot and now I'm a soufflé," Jinhwan sighed, not looking very impressed and Junhoe gasped in offence at even the _thought_ of someone trying to diss a soufflé aka the prince of all patisseries. And he was just about to yell that Jinhwan should regard it as the highest of honours before he realised that that was the least of his worries compared to a beautiful guy staring up at him with words and affection just on the tip of his tongue and his hands smoothing up and down Junhoe's thighs lightly, leaving Junhoe's heartbeat stuttering while pink coloured his cheeks far too fast. "All this food talk makes me hungry and I've already eaten."

"Hungry for what?" Junhoe asked as a genuine question but then Jinhwan was quirking an eyebrow at him, leaning forward and looking at Junhoe's lips that were close to him now. Junhoe felt his skin heating up from the look, knowing immediately that he had been read wrong but he also didn't feel inclined to deny it.

"Was that an innuendo?"

"Who knows?"

"I'd taste you if I could."

Junhoe almost laughed. Jinhwan's gaze was intense, like he knew exactly what he wanted and the fact that he was hesitating seemed ridiculous. "Oh yeah? What's stopping you?"

"You might not want to be tasted."

"How sentimental. Maybe I'd appreciate it more if you actually ask me."

"Maybe I will but I'm a coward," Jinhwan whispered, falling apart as Junhoe ducked his head a little and let their lips ghost each other's, so close and intimate and right then, Jinhwan looked exhilarating in Junhoe's eyes but he still didn't close the distance and Jinhwan didn't dare to either.

"You're all over me like you're dying to kiss every inch of me and you call yourself a coward?" Junhoe asked sceptically, smirking a little when he leant back and Jinhwan tried to chase his lips only to catch himself and reluctantly stop. "Incredible."

"I'm trying to...to hold back, I can't just dive into you when it could all go so wrong," Jinhwan mumbled, looking down as his hands ran upwards to grip Junhoe's hips at the subtle curves of his waist and the younger looked down at him, moving one hand to rest on the side of Jinhwan's neck and Junhoe heard the elder's breath hitch, just for a second. It was such an addictive sound.

"You've been thinking a lot about this, haven't you? You're so much more hesitant."

"Yeah...the more I think about you, the more attached I get. The more I don't want to hurt you."

"Hey, if you hurt me, the person you'll have to worry the most about is yourself. I'll kick your ass," Junhoe muttered but he still had a gentle smile on his face upon seeing Jinhwan looking so far gone, eyes half-closed, breathing uneven, rose in his cheeks. Junhoe felt so enamoured and he just wanted to kiss him immediately and put the guy out of his misery, but the talk wasn't over. "Also, what you said about labels. We'll figure that out later."

"What if we keep saying that but we never get to it?"

"Then this isn't worth pursuing."

"But it _is_ worth it."

"Exactly. So kiss me now, talk later," Junhoe murmured, splaying his fingers over Jinhwan's jaw lazily and the elder went for it immediately, tiptoeing while Junhoe leant down and their lips met, yearning and speaking for itself. Junhoe felt Jinhwan's urge to care in the way he massaged Junhoe's thighs gently and it felt so good that Junhoe _had_ to make him stop, so he slowly pushed Jinhwan back without breaking the kiss and hopped down from the counter, letting Jinhwan wrap him up in his arms once again when his feet were on the ground.

"Wanna go to my bed? I've got silk sheets you can lie on, my baby only deserves the best," Jinhwan said once they separated, out of breath but his eyes were sparkling and the cheeky smirk on his soft reddened lips got a fond laugh bubbling up Junhoe's throat.

"No matter how amazing that sounds, I'm not going to a bed with you."

"What if I promise we only go as far as kissing?"

"Then make those silk sheets my home, let's go," Junhoe said immediately, wrapping an arm around Jinhwan's waist and tugging him towards the room while Jinhwan giggled happily, letting himself be dragged for a moment before he hurried up and a few minutes later, he just had to say that the sight of Koo Junhoe lying on a bed with a nonchalant look on his face, arms behind his head and his shirt slightly rising up was probably the hottest thing in the world.

"You're right," Junhoe hummed casually as he kissed Jinhwan hard, curling a fist into Jinhwan's shirt before pulling him down so there was no teasing space between their bodies. Things were moving so quickly but they were still slow, marked by the speed of their lips and the gentleness in Jinhwan's touch. Junhoe had to admit that he adored being treated like he was a treasure. "These sheets are incredible."

"And you look incredible on them," Jinhwan whispered, eyes hooded as he gave Junhoe a onceover which made the younger feel all tingly inside as his nervous energy just made him crash his lips onto Jinhwan's again. Jinhwan could probably smell the emotions on him since he gave up on intoxicating long kisses, instead pressing a series of short, soft pecks to Junhoe's lips like a calming mantra and he ran a hand ever so slowly down Junhoe's side then back up, making Junhoe's eyes close and his lips form a dreamy smile as he slipped into peaceful bliss.

"I'm seriously going to fall in love with you if you keep this up, do you want that?" Junhoe asked with a breathy laugh and Jinhwan grinned, smitten as he kissed Junhoe's cheek.

"I think I'd be absolutely honoured if that happened."

***

Junhoe wasn't surprised at all when he turned on the tv the next day to watch Jinhwan being interviewed and when he was asked if he had any men in his life, Jinhwan said, "I think there's a possibility that I do. I'm going to buy him an island."

Junhoe threw a cushion at the tv.

 


	10. burning sugar and opportunities

"You know, this whole being gay and a celebrity thing," Junhoe said out of nowhere and Jinhwan blinked in alarm, looking up. He had been so enthralled in social media stuff that he had kinda forgot that he had come here to spend a little time with Junhoe after not being able to for so long, but then again this was the first time that Junhoe had properly given him attention since he arrived which seemed proportionate with the way the shop was empty now. But at least they were talking, and Junhoe's eyes were all big and sparkly, just how Jinhwan remembered them. He was so youthfully brilliant, so different to the usual company Jinhwan had, and he that was something he loved. "How does it work?"

"Well..."

Jinhwan had to think about that. Whenever this kind of thing came up, he'd always go into a sort of flashback mode without being able to help it. A time where his company earned so much of Jinhwan's respect was four years ago, right before he debuted when his boss said to him, "It doesn't matter who you're into, it doesn't matter if you want to voice your sexuality, you just can't date yet. You got that?"

Maybe other people would find that infuriating but Jinhwan liked it because it was like he was being dismissed but in a good way, he wasn't being treated as a special case, or an outsider. Instead he was being treated like everyone who had debuted before him under this label had been treated, and the company didn't see the word 'gay' stamped right on his forehead at all times. They saw him for _him_ , his talent, his potential, and maybe it wasn't the best company in the world like critics said all the time but Jinhwan didn't want it any other way.

He remembered going on various variety shows and talking about that conversation, then seeing all the shocked faces on the hosts and the other guests' faces, maybe because they didn't expect the boss to be like that, probably because they all harboured a lot of internalised homophobia so they couldn't fathom how easy the path to debuting for Jinhwan was. Though they were right, of course it hadn't _actually_ been easy and still wasn't but the point was that his company had actually done something that everyone should. They treated people who were gay like they were just normal, and that eased things for Jinhwan a lot.

"I could actually argue that it doesn't work," Jinhwan said and Junhoe nodded, looking very ready to listen. "It's hard, but I'm not going to act like I'm a saint because of it. It doesn't define me and the hate I get for it just goes over my head because it's not something that I've done wrong? I've got a whole community behind me who should also be able to have the same opportunities as I have, you know, I'm just another person of many to show that yes, it's all possible no matter what circumstances like what country you're from."

"You might never hear this from me again but, you're really cool," Junhoe said, an impressed, admiring smile on his lips as he rested his elbows on the counter, laying his face in his palms. He was leaning forward over the counter a little too much like a puppy whose interest had been piqued and Jinhwan found it really sweet as he pecked Junhoe's lips, putting his own sunglasses back on at the same time.

"Thank you."

"I'm sure there are other people in the industry who are LGBT but they feel like they can't speak up about it."

"You know who I think one of them is?" Jinhwan said, pointing his fork at Junhoe after taking a bite of cake. Junhoe stared at him with wide eyes, hissing, "Wait, is there like, _celebrity gossip_ about this? Between celebrities? Is that a thing?!"

"Nooo, no...I mean kind of but that's not what I mean, I'm saying that I've got a hunch. It's just about a friend, anyway."

"Who?"

"Jiwon."

Junhoe gasped, sounding absolutely _scandalised_ before he paused, saying, "Yeah, he is."

Jinhwan blinked at him in amazement and Junhoe blinked back. "What? It's true. I was friends with him throughout school, we came out to each other first. Gosh, it's weird remembering that, it was ages ago...he's pan, you didn't know?"

"No, I, I really did not," Jinhwan said blankly, his fingers inching towards his phone so he could call Jiwon and yell at him very aggressively and tearfully but then Junhoe was speaking up again.

"That makes sense. He told me that he's never really mentioned it at all in the following years after he first came out. I think he's trying to be ambiguous about it."

"Okay but I've been his friend now for, what, seven years? Surely he would have told me?"

"I think he just didn't feel the need to. Straight people don't come out, do they? Jiwon-hyung's the type of person to have that same mindset," Junhoe said, trying to make Jinhwan see reason because Jinhwan didn't need to get worked up about this. Junhoe knew Jiwon's side, even if they weren't as close anymore. "Besides, he's been supporting you for years. He almost _kissed_ you in that one music video, right? That's another sign of it."

Jinhwan gave Junhoe a look. "You've been watching my music videos?"

Junhoe looked away, flushing just a tiny bit. "No...I mean, you're popular, okay? I want to check you out sometimes."

"What, in the literal sense or-"

"I mean the internet, _on_ the internet, your songs and stuff!" Junhoe yelped quickly, turning very red now and Jinhwan snickered as he patted Junhoe's hand.

"You're so cute, honest. This is just getting me thinking, is there anyone else I know who...you know..."

"I have a hunch about Hanbin," Junhoe whispered loudly behind a hand, making Jinhwan raise his eyebrows. "'Cause he's all touchy-feely and him talking dreamily about actors as well as actresses? Bi culture."

"Chanwoo? He doesn't even want to kiss his girlfriend."

"I don't know if that's to do with him or if his girlfriend just repulses him, but that's also one!"

"Didn't Yunhyeong say on tv that his celebrity crush was Park Seojoon?"

"Donghyuk did that one couple dance with a guy."

"And I think there's a rumour that Junhoe's made out with Kim Jinhwan twice now," Jinhwan said, a smirk on his face and Junhoe furrowed his eyebrows, pretending to be confused.

"Really? How did you hear that?"

"With my lips."

"Don't think that's a hearing organ, hyung."

"But it worked well enough, you see. You know what they're hearing now?"

Junhoe was both a mixture of amused and pleasantly shy as he picked Jinhwan's glasses off again, wanting to see his eyes as the elder reached out to lay a hand on his neck which was burning up. "What?"

"That a third time's gonna happen in the near future."

"You're a minx, honestly."

Jinhwan shrugged, pulling on Junhoe's neck as he tried to chase his lips but Junhoe pulled back, shaking his head. "Too public."

"Oh come on, that's stopping you? Then let's go to the kitchen."

"I've got a job to do, you know."

"No-one's come in for the last ten minutes."

"I bet that's because of you hogging my attention-"

"Just one kiss, _one_ then I'll be satisfied. I need to go soon anyway so please?" Jinhwan pleaded, pouting in a way that he knew made him look good as he rested his hand on Junhoe's chest lightly and the younger could already feel himself going weak because his mentality was never strong enough when Jinhwan was avidly trying to _seduce_ him, a.k.a. the most mesmerising thing in the world. It was a problem.

"Why do you want one so bad? Have you been that deprived of love over the years?"

"Yes. Completely," Jinhwan said with no shame and Junhoe snorted. "Also, kissing you is the best feeling in the world, I think. Maybe it's too early to make that kind of judgement but I know that I really like it. I like your lips and your face and your words and your personality and _you_. I'd kiss you every day if you and my schedule let me."

"You know..."

"I know?"

"We could arrange that. A kiss a day keeps the love doctor away," Junhoe said with a grin, taking hold of Jinhwan's chin to pull his face closer and the elder's eyes widened at the strong pull but they slipped shut the instant Junhoe's lips were pressing up against his, letting him have that one kiss he wanted full of electricity and tenderness. When they broke apart, Jinhwan must've looked so dreamy and dazed that Junhoe flushed more, smiled bigger, and felt the need to kiss him again, longer this time. There was no-one and nothing else in their little world of harmony and fantasy in a love that in _theory_ shouldn't work, but this wasn't a Romeo and Juliet scenario at all. Junhoe would fall in love with Jinhwan if he wanted to, and whatever the elder wanted was up to him. But at the moment it seemed like he wanted Junhoe just as much as Junhoe wanted him and that was more than enough validation for now.

***

So, Junhoe had a little bit of a problem. He was now, actually, homeless, and he had come to the point that he couldn't be in denial about it anymore.

He knew he could ask one of his multi-millionaire friends but they already had roommates, every one of them. Donghyuk and Yunhyeong, Jiwon and Jinhwan, Chanwoo and his girlfriend...wait. Hanbin? Junhoe really didn't know much about Hanbin, despite being one of his closest friends, the guy was weirdly mysterious. Did he even ever move out of his parents' house? _I mean, probably..._ Junhoe was pretty sure he was the richest out of _everyone_ he knew. Only Jinhwan could perhaps rival him.

In the end, Hanbin wouldn't pick up his phone after one call and since Junhoe didn't want to look desperate, he gave up right after.

"DUDE!" Junhoe yelled from outside of Chanwoo's apartment, banging on the door as hard as he could even though he knew that he was supposed to press the buzzer. He was just in a state of distress too big at this point and he felt a splurge of relief rush over him as the door opened, but it wasn't Chanwoo. It was his girlfriend.

"Oh...Hana, hi-"

"Urgent news, I suspect?" Hana asked, grinning amusedly and Junhoe shrugged, looking down as he muttered, "Not really."

"He's in the living room. Don't expect him to be that happy," Hana sighed, rolling her eyes a little as she crossed her arms. Junhoe gave her a look, confused, but Hana was the one shrugging this time. "We had a fight. A stupid fight. Doubt he'll be in the best mood."

"You guys have been fighting a lot lately...is everything alright?" Junhoe asked, wanting to be blunt but he knew he had to step a little cautiously, especially since he knew about Hana's outbursts. But Hana shrugged yet again, looking incredibly tired and it made Junhoe feel bad for her.

"It's just not as fairytale-like as I was promised."

Junhoe's eyes widened. "Promised?"

Hana just waved her hand, looking so done with everything as she walked off into another room and Junhoe watched her go with a frown before moving himself cautiously, trying to find Chanwoo but then the guy himself peeked his head outside of his bedroom door, all messy hair and eye bags and baggy clothes. "Hey."

"You good?" Junhoe asked, still frowning as he followed Chanwoo back into his room and they took a seat on the bed, with Junhoe hitching his legs up to sit cross-legged. Chanwoo ran a hand through his hair, sighing deeply before he raised his head and smiled.

"Sure."

"Chanwoo, is...I've gotta ask. Is yours and Hana's relationship a PR one?" Junhoe asked, eyebrows furrowed and Chanwoo grinned tiredly, clapping his hands.

"Someone finally figured it out. Kudos to you, Koo."

"God, I should've known. Whose agency decided it would be a good idea?"

"Mine, of course. It's always the guy's."

"That sucks. Forcing _and_ sexism. Though doesn't that also mean it's harder for you to get out of it?"

"Why do you think I want to get out of it?" Chanwoo said weakly and Junhoe fiddled with the bed's duvet. A super nice bed.

"You just don't seem happy. Maybe I'm wrong, but...the point of PR relationships is for the public image but also, it should grow into a real relationship, one where you both love each other. Right? If that's not happening then you should end it, seriously."

"I...care about her."

"Not good enough, dude."

"I think she _likes_ me, but it's like...she doesn't care about me enough," Chanwoo muttered, looking down. "It's like she wants to fix me because I don't seem interested enough in her. What am I supposed to say, 'oh I'm sorry that I don't feel attracted to you'? She's super pretty, really, gorgeous so that'll offend her. That'll offend anyone, I guess. But...honestly? The most I see her as is a friend and with all this fighting and annoyance, even that's a stretch. I don't want to date _anyone_. It doesn't feel like the kind of thing I want right now, or for a while, but I don't know how to say that."

"Just find someone you trust in the agency and say exactly what you said to me right now," Junhoe said, smiling. He felt proud of Chanwoo for knowing his feelings even if he was still stuck in something he didn't want. "Then I'm sure things will work out. Things'll get worse before it gets good but it's better than being dishonest to your _self._ "

"Koo Junhoe giving me advice on life decisions, who would've thought?" Chanwoo asked in amused amazement and Junhoe grinned, puffing out his chest.

"You people take me for granted."

"I think I gotta figure myself out first before I do anything. Who knows, maybe me and her _are_ supposed to work out? Maybe I'm not putting in enough effort? We'll see."

"Stop putting yourself down, oh my _God_. I make bad life decisions and I'm broke and homeless and I still think I'm the best thing since sliced bread!" Junhoe yelped, slamming a fist down onto the bed and Chanwoo finally laughed, leaning back against the bed's headboard as he hugged himself a little, and Junhoe moved so he was next to him, leaning back against the headboard too. Then there was silence, the metaphorical smell of deep thinking strong in the air and Junhoe imagined it similar to the smell of burning sugar, before Chanwoo said a small, "So you really are homeless now, huh?"

Junhoe looked down at his lap, smiling bitterly. "As of a few days ago, yes. I'm letting myself admit it now."

"Where've you been staying?"

"Hotel."

"You could've stayed with us, I wouldn't have-"

"Don't really want to eat my cereal with you two screaming at each other over my head," Junhoe grumbled in distaste as Chanwoo snorted in agreement. "I mean, I know you don't _scream_ but there'd be a lot of passive simmering. I'd rather not be around that."

"A hotel can't fare you forever, you know."

"I'll milk it for as long as I can, shut up...I'll figure something out."

"Oh- oh my God! That reminds me, there's something that I've really been meaning to show you," Chanwoo exclaimed, turning to the side to sift through his bedside drawer and Junhoe raised his eyebrows, trying to get a look before he had to quickly move back once Chanwoo did. He was holding out a leaflet and when Junhoe saw a cake on it, he leant closer and rested his chin on Chanwoo's shoulder, suddenly incredibly interested.

"What is it?"

"Something I picked up at an event I was at last night. Probably because of the high-end patisserie that was catering."

"The fact that you can say that so casually..."

" _Make a video of you cooking up an original recipe and upload it to a social media platform following the instructions below. We will be examining your charm, presenting skills and of course, cooking and/or baking skills. There will be a shortlist from this and the final person we choose will be...the main face of a new tv program we will be launching!"_ Chanwoo read out excitedly, smile growing and Junhoe blinked as he grabbed the flyer, holding it close to his face.

"It's KBS...dude, there'll be so many people participating. There's no chance I'll even make the shortlist."

"Oh come on, you don't even want to try? You'll do so  _weeeeell_ _,_ " Chanwoo whined, shaking Junhoe's arm. "Also, 'm pretty sure you'll get a nice-enough salary if you get the job and you're handsome too so, I really think you'd be perfect for it."

"But my cooking skills aren't-"

"Junhoe, don't you dare. You could make your chicken-marshmallow combo for the video and you would _still_ get the job," Chanwoo said firmly, narrowing his eyes at Junhoe as if daring him to object and Junhoe groaned, "Come on, you need to let that _go_ , I'm not making it for you again!"

"Why not-"

"You were sick last time!"

"I think that's irrelevant, I just have a weak stomach which sadly rejects impeccable taste."

"Stop flattering me, it's weird."

"How many times- this is _not_ flattery! It's truth. Make a video, Junhoe."

"Break up with Hana, Chanwoo."

Chanwoo gave him a flat look while Junhoe only smiled. "Do we have a deal?"

"No."

"Damn it..."

***

Junhoe had a scarf over his mouth and sunglasses on his face as he walked into the YG building and yes, he was pretty certain that he looked very sketchy which was why he wanted to find Jinhwan as quickly as possible. Chanwoo had asked him to give the guy a Rolex watch that he had left at his apartment 'if he ended up seeing him', and Junhoe was so enthralled about seeing a _Rolex watch_ up close that he kind of just agreed to it without thinking. He didn't know when he'd next see Jinhwan, or if it would be anytime soon, and he was so terrified about keeping something so expensive in _his_ possession when he could clearly lose it that he ended up going to Jinhwan's company. It was also Hanbin's, meaning Junhoe could talk to him too if he was there.

One problem was that now he was in, he had no idea where Jinhwan would actually be, meaning him looking around in confusion made him seem even more suspicious, and it was only a matter of time before someone called out, "Excuse me, sir?"

Alarm bells went off in Junhoe's head and he immediately started walking off in a different direction to the voice, but then he yelped when he bumped into someone with a suit who looked at him curiously. "Are you a visitor, sir?"

"Uh, no...?" Junhoe said uncertainly, backing up but then there just seemed to be more people noticing him and it was stressing him out so much. "I'm just...I'm just looking for...I don't-"

"Do you work here?"

"Do you have ID, sir?"

"If you could pull down your scarf, please."

"Do you have a scheduled meeting with anyone?"

"What's going on?" a familiar voice asked, quieter than the others since he was probably just asking one person instead of everyone but Junhoe picked it out among everything as he spun around, taking off his sunglasses and his heart calmed down instantly when he saw Hanbin standing with someone else, peering at Junhoe curiously. He was so relieved that he just ran at him, which caused the most ruckus with people thinking that Hanbin was going to be attacked, even Hanbin himself whose eyes widened as he stepped back but Junhoe called out his name as he pulled him into a hug, and Hanbin's eyes grew even bigger. _"Junhoe?"_

"Tell them you know me then get me away from these monsters," Junhoe said quietly, sounding more like a lost child than anything and Hanbin grinned, pushing Junhoe away from him but keeping an arm around his shoulders.

"This guy's with me. No need for any concern."

There was a lot of grumbling as the members of staff got on with their day, and Hanbin held onto Junhoe's arm and dragged him off, which Junhoe was more than happy to oblige with. They went into a random room (or at least it was random to Junhoe) and Hanbin looked at him, crossing his arms, and Junhoe pouted as he pulled down his scarf and pocketed his sunglasses. "Don't kill me. I didn't mean for that to happen."

"To be honest with you, I'm just more surprised that you _hugged_ me. It must have been what, a good few years?"

"I felt overwhelmed," Junhoe mumbled, looking away when Hanbin smiled in a fond way that made Junhoe feel annoyed. He didn't need Hanbin thinking he was cute. Junhoe was _not_ cute. "Also, I need to ask you something."

Hanbin nodded, and he looked endearing in his baggy plain shirt and tracksuit bottoms and big glasses. He looked just like the friend Junhoe was accustomed to, not the celebrity, and Junhoe didn't feel as embarrassed as he thought he would. "Is it...is it okay if, I could stay over at yours for a small while? Just a while, nothing big, if you say no then that's also like _totally_ fine it's not like I'm _homeless_ or anything-"

"Junhoe, Junhoe," Hanbin assured, laying a hand on Junhoe's arm and Junhoe deflated, clasping his mouth shut. "Of course you can."

"I thought you'd say that. It's cool, I'll just- wait what?"

Hanbin grinned, and Junhoe saw an angel. "I've been lonely lately anyway. Stay as long as you want."

Junhoe was silent for a moment, just blinking a mile a minute before he said, "I'm going to hug you again."

Hanbin held his arms up, shaking his head. "Neither of us want that."

"You're right. Well, thank you."

"When will you come?"

"Later tonight?"

"I'll be sure to be there then."

"Do you know where Jinhwan-hyung is?"

"Dance studio, _if_ you remember where that is," Hanbin said in a nonchalantly challenging tone and Junhoe glared at him.

"I do."

"You do?"

"You think I _don't?_ That's so offensive."

"It's the look on your face that says so, not me."

"Shut up," Junhoe grumbled, tearing out of the room and it was the worst thing to leave feeling so undignified because of Hanbin's laughter behind him, but he let it go because he was bigger than that. He felt stressed out as he walked through the building, wondering how on earth he was gonna get to the stairs without being _persecuted_ but turned out, he didn't even need to move that far. Jinhwan was speed-walking in his direction, head down, big coat on and blonde fluffy hair bouncing as he walked. Junhoe was so enamoured that he almost let Jinhwan walk straight past him. "Hyung..."

Jinhwan stopped right in his tracks, spinning around and blinking. They just both stared at each other for a moment and Junhoe was starting to feel stressed out all over again until Jinhwan took a step closer, a smile on his face that should have come with harps playing. "You don't even know how happy I am you're here."

Junhoe immediately flushed a little, so incredibly flattered but all he could say was, "I-I'm only here to return your watch..."

"You came all this way for that? You could've just given it to Jiwon at the apartment," Jinhwan sighed in amusement, taking the watch that Junhoe was holding out with a slightly shaky hand. Junhoe needed to get less scared about holding stuff worth more than he'd ever be. "Thank you."

"Why are you happy I'm here?"

"Because I'm just _always_ happy when you're there."

"Oh, stop it," Junhoe snorted, throwing an arm around Jinhwan's shoulders as the elder leant in happily and Junhoe honestly expected a kiss but he shouldn't have been surprised when he didn't get one. This was a public place, after all. "You busy?"

"Not anymore, I think. Why?" Jinhwan asked coyly, walking two fingers up Junhoe's chest and Junhoe was trying to _calm_ down his blush so could Jinhwan stop?

"Small talk."

"Nah, small talk's not my thing," Jinhwan said with a large grin as he took hold of Junhoe's hand and started walking, only leaving Junhoe to follow and yelp when Jinhwan pulled him into a room that was completely dark, and Junhoe blinked about a million times to try and get adjusted to it but the hands sliding around his waist and in his hair - Junhoe was finding it hard to focus on _anything_.

"You really missed me, huh?" Junhoe asked a little breathlessly when he was pushed gently against a wall and Jinhwan's face nuzzled his neck, hands still feeling him out as Jinhwan hummed in agreement. God, Junhoe could get so drunk off of the feelings Jinhwan gave him.

"Always."

He finally got his kiss a moment later, with Jinhwan's hand stroking his jaw, pulling his face closer and Junhoe closed his eyes before their lips even met. Jinhwan kissed like no-one Junhoe had ever kissed, he did it like it was some kind of art, Junhoe always felt cherished by the way Jinhwan would drink him in like he was the most delicious thing. Mouths that were already open as Jinhwan's tongue licked into his, and Junhoe was falling from grace.

"God, you're so...beautiful," Jinhwan whispered and Junhoe barely heard him, too intoxicated, and he wondered if it was bad to have a kissing addiction because Jinhwan was sure making him get one. "I hate it..."

"How d-do you think _I_ feel?" Junhoe breathed out in return, tipping his head back when Jinhwan kissed his neck, lips so soft against his blistering hot skin that it was compelling, and Junhoe's hands gripped Jinhwan's hips so he could pull the elder as close as possible. "You're gorgeous."

"A kiss a day-"

"Keeps the love doctor away."

Jinhwan giggled, making Junhoe fall in love with him a million more times as Jinhwan's arms settled around his neck, eyes big and warm as they looked up into Junhoe's, and Junhoe was so glad that he could see them with the minimal light shining through. Jinhwan's lips were glistening, red, and Junhoe wanted to kiss them again but it didn't seem like the right moment. Not with Jinhwan looking up at him with so much love in his expression that it was making Junhoe worry.

"What's happening?"

"I haven't asked earlier because I was so certain that I'm not good enough for you," Jinhwan said, his fingers fiddling with the hair at the back of Junhoe's neck. "I thought, you need someone who can always be there, who won't miss anything, who won't have to apologise all the time. Because I'm not that. I can foresee myself saying 'sorry' far, _far_ too many times to you in the future. But it's just not fair to you anymore to make this seem like it's no strings attached. And then, it's not fair to _me_ either, because I've fallen for you so hard."

"Are you gonna ask what I think you're gonna ask?" Junhoe asked in quiet amazement, breath caught in his throat because he had been waiting for this moment for _so long_. It was the only thing that would make him feel less worthless, less thrown around. "What did you say that day with the pancakes?"

"I said I want a boyfriend who'd cuddle me and tell me everything's okay," Jinhwan murmured, and his voice gave out when Junhoe's arms squeezed him tighter and he kissed the side of Jinhwan's head before he even finished speaking.

"That's so easy. I can do that. I _will_ do that. And _more._ "

"So be my boyfriend," Jinhwan whispered, smiling when Junhoe instantly kissed him again, tilting his chin up and drawing all the breath from his lungs. Junhoe felt so elated that he felt like he could cry, because his emotions didn't need to contradict each other anymore. He could get rid of the 'what if he doesn't like me', 'what if I'm just a fling', 'what if he's just using me'.

"I adore you so much."

Jinhwan pecked his lips gently and stroked his fingers over his neck, small things that all added up to Junhoe feeling loved. "I adore you more."

"You don't," Junhoe slurred softly, kissing Jinhwan again and again until the elder was laughing against him. "You really don't."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes i know 
> 
> it has been months 
> 
> but no-one reads this so it's okaY 
> 
> imma try and be more efficient with this now. got a plot and everything. i was gonna unpublish this book but i just missed it too much


	11. meringue pie and baked love

"I don't think me and my girlfriend are gonna last," Chanwoo said matter-of-fairly and Jinhwan spat out his coffee while Yunhyeong choked on his scone.

"W-Wait, huh?" Yunhyeong asked in confusion, patting his mouth with a tissue while Jinhwan nodded frantically in agreement.

"Yes, please elaborate."

"I've been talking to Junhoe about it. We have no spark whatsoever, I don't think she really likes me and it just seems like it's more for the cameras than anything. Not to mention that recently she's been wanting more than a kiss and I don't wanna do  _anything_  like that. It weirds me out..."

"A man without needs, I wholly respect," Jinhwan said solemnly, raising his hand for a fist-bump and Chanwoo silently declined.

"I thought you guys seemed good together," Yunhyeong said in a very small voice and Chanwoo snorted, rolling his eyes.

"Of course I have to act happy whenever I'm with her, that's how celebrity relationships work. That's how most rocky relationships in  _general_  work, until it gets too much."

"Just leave it if it plagues you too much."

"My manager might get angry at me..."

"Then drop him too, you're too popular and influential to be controlled!" Yunhyeong exclaimed, curling his hand into a determined fist that he banged on the table before wincing when Junhoe yelled at him from behind the counter. "Sorry..."

"Thanks, hyung," Chanwoo said amusedly, patting Yunhyeong's fist lightly. "I'll figure something out later."

"Here's your cali shake, Chan," Junhoe said as he walked up to their table, tray in hand. "And three pieces of cake."

Jinhwan furrowed his eyebrows. "We didn't order cake-"

"Compliments of the chef," Junhoe interrupted, winking at Chanwoo and ruffling Jinhwan's hair which made the elder groan unhappily. "Besides, you guys are rather loud. Thought it was built into celebrities to be quiet."

"I have a lot of feelings!" Chanwoo yelped, feeling unfairly accused but Junhoe shook his head, turning to glare at Yunhyeong.

"I mean  _you_ , table-defiler. Do you have anything to say for yourself?"

"I...have feelings too!" Yunhyeong yelled like some kind of equal-rights activist, moving to stand up but Chanwoo tugged him back down.

"Hyung, no. You're an embarrassment."

"I'm a what?!"

"A disappointment."

"You sound like my parents..."

Chanwoo's eyes widened as he tried to blurt out an apology and Yunhyeong cackled like a hyena at his reaction. And since they were distracted, when Junhoe leant down to put the things on the table, Jinhwan tugged on his collar and pulled down his mask for a split-second to press a messy kiss to Junhoe's cheek, craning his neck to do it. Jinhwan grinned when he saw the heat rising to Junhoe's face, the boy looking very stiff as he slowly straightened up and coughed to alleviate some of his distress. "I'm go- I'm gonna go."

"Payback for messing up my hair, loser," Jinhwan said, sticking out a tongue at the younger who raised his eyebrows but it might give a wrong impression to the other customers if he  _attacked_  one so, he just walked off with the tray. Jinhwan grinned after him, a twinkle in his eyes before he turned back to the other two.

"What if she sues me?" Chanwoo asked, looking part-worried, part-amused, and part-disgusted for some reason. Jinhwan must have missed something. Jinhwan raised an eyebrow at him, sipping on his coffee while Yunhyeong shrugged like it was nothing.

"We'll fight back harder than ever. Did you know that I've got the best lawyer in Korea on my beck and call?"

"Oh my  _God_ , I hate rich people," Junhoe groaned loudly from where he was back at the counter and Jinhwan giggled, slipping down in his seat while Yunhyeong looked ready to throw every single piece of cake at Junhoe's face one by one. "But he's right, and you're completely entitled to your own feelings, you know that? Please, think things over, do what makes you happy. That's what we want, that's what your fans would want." 

Chanwoo nodded, hanging his head a little as Yunhyeong's hands perched on his shoulders, chin hooking over like he was a little meerkat as he looked at Chanwoo with a pout. Chanwoo rested his head against Yunhyeong's, closing his eyes for a brief moment. "God, I'm tired..."

"Kind of feel like I'm third-wheeling here," Jinhwan mumbled, even though in reality he was perfectly content with eating the magical cake which was melting in his mouth. He didn't know if it was  _that_  amazing or if he was really just so hungry. Probably both. "Yunhyeong, what happened to that girl you were seeing? Not good or what?"

Chanwoo's eyes widened, turning his head to look at Yunhyeong like 'dude, this is news to  _me_ ' and Yunhyeong winced, pushing his face down into Chanwoo's jacket a bit more. "She liked me more than I liked her...I felt bad. Told her she deserved someone who loved her equally and would treat her like a princess, then ended it."

"That's mature, I'm proud."

"Relationships aren't really going good for any of us, are they? Why aren't you butting in to complain about wanting a boyfriend yet, hyung?" Yunhyeong laughed, brightening up while Chanwoo looked at him curiously and really all Jinhwan could do was shrug, smiling as he brought his coffee to his lips.

"Just kinda don't feel like I need to."

"Hmm,  _someone's_  had some sort of a happy pill, is the cake that good?" Yunhyeong asked in amazement, reaching out to try some and Jinhwan let him, grinning as Yunhyeong offered to feed Chanwoo some, saying a strict, 'say 'ahhhh'' and Chanwoo grimaced, pushing his face away. Then Jinhwan looked back at the counter while they were distracted, seeing Junhoe leaning over, elbow on the counter, chin in his palm as he stared off into space. Big, sad but still warm chocolate eyes and slightly pursed lips. Junhoe was beautiful but also so much more than that, and Jinhwan always wondered what was going through his mind.

Then a customer was walking in and both Jinhwan and Junhoe had to snap out of it, with Jinhwan coughing as he went back to Yunhyeong and Chanwoo who were quiet now, Yunhyeong eating the cake and humming in satisfaction while Chanwoo scrolled through his phone. Jinhwan sighed, resting his own face in his palm as he smiled a little tiredly. A flight in less than an hour. An event in five. Even though he had taken an incredible  _six months off_  before it already felt like forever since then, almost like it wasn't enough even though in truth, it had been more than he could have ever asked for. He wished Junhoe could come with him, to wrap his arms around him and kiss him between each performance. Not that he  _needed_  that. But it'd be nice.

"Alright, y'all, time to go get ready for boarding," Yunhyeong said a while later and the others nodded, getting up and gathering their things ready to walk out but Jinhwan fell behind, going towards Junhoe at the counter who smiled at him.

"See you tonight, huh?"

Jinhwan nodded, pulling down his mask to blow Junhoe a kiss that had Junhoe averting his eyes, flushing a little and Jinhwan's heart rose, really wanting to do nothing more than tug him into a real kiss. But he knew about publicity and what was too much, so he left Junhoe with a wave and rushed out, grinning sheepishly at Yunhyeong and Chanwoo who had mirroring crossed arm positions and raised eyebrows, then they were  _all_  rushing, Jinhwan pulling his hood over his head. It was quite exhilarating to travel places incognito, even if someone always eventually ended up finding them. But that didn't seem to be happening now.

His phone buzzed and he looked down, struggling to hold back a grin when he saw Junhoe's dumb cutesy message of  _'you da best you'll slay mhm'_ , followed by another saying a simple  _'ily'_  and Jinhwan could have died. Not that Junhoe meant it so momentously, but  _still_...well, Jinhwan texting back  _'ilym'_  definitely didn't mean anything big either. Not at all. 

***

"There we go..." Junhoe muttered to himself as he set up the camera, blinking at it and making sure it wouldn't fall which it didn't, and he was so happy about it. "Perfect."

Moving into Hanbin's place had kind of been like a dream. It was the epitome of when people said 'organised mess' and it was big but cosy and the perfect place for a loner-style songwriter which was essentially what Hanbin was. Junhoe still didn't have a key just yet and Hanbin had offered to give him his for the day since Junhoe would always be at home when Hanbin wasn't but Jiwon had offered to let him film at his place, so that was where Junhoe was.

He looked at the leaflet, squinting at it. According to what it said, he could just upload it onto Youtube with the correct description or tags or whatever and be done with it. It wasn't like he really expected anything to come from it anyway.

"I'm gonna head off, good luck!" Jiwon said brightly as he came out of nowhere, waving and Junhoe waved back, wondering why they were waving when they were in too close proximity for it to be appropriate to wave. "Tell me what happens, yeah?"

"Don't think anything will, hyung."

"No, don't be like that. Be excited!"

"I guess I'm excited to make the video, kinda. I'm awkward, though."

"Don't people love awkward? They find it cute and relatable or something," Jiwon said with a shrug, patting Junhoe's shoulder before walking off, sending Junhoe a salute with a spin before he went out of sight, stumbling a little. Junhoe smiled as he fixed up his camera more, closing his eyes and giving himself a small pep-talk, looking at the recipe again that he had hastily scribbled down even though it was all in his head, then, he turned on the camera.

"Hi, so, uh...baking. That's what I'm gonna be doing. I'm gonna be baking my own recipe for a Raspberry Meringue Pie and it's kinda like a pavlova, I guess. But not," Junhoe said, taking hold of his whisk and pointing it at the camera. "Don't you think pavlovas are pretty? They always remind me of like...dahlias. Intricate, round. My pie's more like a rose in that sense, less complex but pretty and lots of love? I know it sounds stupid but I swear I know what I'm talking about, anyway - ingredients!"

Junhoe swept all of his ingredients over onto the part of the table where the camera was filming, kneeling down so only his eyes up was showing as he pointed to things. "This is butter, these are raspberries, this is cinnamon that's just optional, this is...flour? Yes. And  _this_  is sugar, and then some salt- WAIT was I supposed to say the quantities, shi- I'll just get Chanwoo to edit it in. Thank God."

The next few minutes was more admin, Junhoe decided to be professional and get individual shots of the measuring equipment because why  _not_ , it could get him extra points, and then the baking commenced.

"This, dear viewers, is my prize whisk," Junhoe said proudly as he held it up halfway between whisking a mixture of butter, flour, icing sugar, and egg yolk, having drilled it into anyone watching to  _please_  save the white for the meringue. Junhoe grimaced when his action made some of the mixture splay over his face, but he didn't mind so much as he went back to whisking. "It's been with me through thick and thin. Honestly, I bet you want me to say something sweet and sad and meaningful like oh, my grandma gave it to me before she died but no, I just stole this from the school kitchens when I was eight. Wait..." Junhoe looked straight at the camera. "I can't be arrested for that anymore, right?"

"Lightly flour your surface," Junhoe hummed as he followed his own words once his mix had bound, as consistent as he wanted it to be. "And then rest your pastry on it and roll it out...about...to the thickness of like, a regular vitamins tablet? Oh I guess I shouldn't be assuming that everyone's been forced to take those by their parents before - about three millimetres. I'm not gonna measure but you guys are far smarter than me so you will. Afraid there's no story behind this rolling pin since it's my friend's because I'm pretty sure my one got mauled by my neighbour's dog a while back. I let it keep it...it gave me such sad eyes, I kind of forgot to be mad...and the whole ordeal was kind of disgusting, can't lie."

Junhoe was actually having a good time. No-one was stopping him from running his mouth off and he was  _baking;_  so he definitely wouldn't get the job now but maybe he'd get one on a talk show and Junhoe could live with that.

"Gonna set this oven but I'm not gonna move my phone to show you because I'm terrified of doing something to it. It's literally the most expensive thing I've ever owned," Junhoe said as he held the tin carefully, crouching down to open the oven and begrudgingly bearing the hot air that got blown into his face. Perks of a pre-heated oven. "Just slip it in there on a high shelf, gas mark 5, 190 degrees Celsius, and we're gonna forget about that for half an hour! Well, twenty-three minutes. Half an hour sounds better- AH!"

Hearing someone fiddling with the door was  _not_  something Junhoe had been expecting while he was here and yes, he was low level terrified and he wished he hadn't screamed like a kid in front of national critics but, oh well. He slowly held up his phone and his whisk, whispering, "I think there's an intruder. Let's...let's go look..."

And look they  _did_. Junhoe scurried over before slowing down when he got to the corridor leading to the door, backed up against the wall with his whisk held out - and dear  _lord_ , when the door opened, Junhoe very almost screamed again. But all that was there was a small guy in a scarf and a big coat, sunglasses on his head as he peered up at Junhoe in confusion. "Junhoe?"

"False alarm! No intruder!" Junhoe barked out with a nervous laugh before he turned on his heel and ran back, leaving Jinhwan even more confused.

"What are you...oh," Jinhwan muttered with wide eyes as he walked into the main living space and saw what was going on with Junhoe at the kitchen. "You can...you can  _bake_?"

"Well, yeah," Junhoe mumbled, making it a point not to look at Jinhwan who raised his eyebrows, shedding his coat and scarf before slowly making his way over, dragging his fingers across the counter and Junhoe was heating up big time.

"What's with the phone?"

"I'm filming a video. Wanna say hi?"

"Sure," Jinhwan said, instantly putting on a charming smile as Junhoe introduced him, while also wondering what this would mean. Maybe he'd get the job only because oh-so-amazing, famous Kim Jinhwan was there, and that was kind of rubbing him the wrong way. But then, out of shot, Jinhwan was slipping a hand into his and grinning up at him. "Want some help?"

Junhoe suddenly forgot that he was filming for a job. "I...think I'm good."

"I'll be here for moral support, then," Jinhwan said, his grin turning more into a smirk as his finger curled into one of Junhoe's jeans' belt loops so he could draw the guy closer and Junhoe gulped, looking at his phone briefly before back at Jinhwan.

"O-On second thoughts, you should help. Get me the sugar?"

Jinhwan's smile grew softer as he nodded, letting go of the loop and Junhoe stumbled a tiny bit out of surprise, but next thing he knew, Jinhwan was holding up his little bowl of sugar. "This it?" 

Junhoe nodded, still slightly dazed, and Jinhwan looked far too proud of himself. "Take it, then." 

And thus began the most difficult hour of Junhoe's life. Every single time Junhoe went out of shot, Jinhwan would be kissing him  _anywhere_  except his lips, and Junhoe would have to try his best to find inner peace. He wanted to give into it everytime, and sometimes he  _would_  before remembering what he was doing, but at least throwing some flour at Jinhwan would get him away for a few seconds. Except then Jinhwan would be scrunching up his face or laughing and that was a...different kind of distraction (read: making Junhoe fall in love more and more). But, turned out, Jinhwan was actually quite a sweet glamorous assistant - well, until he suddenly gasped so loudly that Junhoe wanted to fall to the ground for shelter.

"What?!"

"You...you actually made those pancakes, didn't you?! You didn't buy them!"

Junhoe turned a little pale. "Um-"

"Why didn't you tell me? Why have you been hiding this from me?"

"I just didn't feel the need to take the credit," Junhoe replied before taking hold of three raspberries and throwing them in Jinhwan's open mouth before he could start speaking. "Everyone, looks like we've finished the pie. I know you're supposed to be judging this but if by any chance there's someone out there who's been following me with this then I hope you feel proud. You did a great job."

Jinhwan mumbled something inaudible with his full mouth and Junhoe said, "So Jinhwan-hyung says bye. This was nice! Come another time!"

And with floury hands, he reached out to end the recording and let out a big breath, running a hand through his hair before remembering -  _yep, they're floury_. Well, he already looked like a right mess with all the batter and cream on his face and clothes, since Jiwon and Jinhwan were uncultured swines with no  _aprons-_

"What did you mean?" Jinhwan asked quietly, coming up behind Junhoe to slide an arm around his waist, and Junhoe's heart kept skipping beats. "You  _made_  it. Why wouldn't you want the credit when it's rightfully yours?"

"Well, you were upset and I was trying to make you feel better, right? There was no point in you complimenting  _me_  on something."

Slowly, Jinhwan's arm turned him around and Junhoe let it, leaning back against the counter as Jinhwan moved closer, reaching up to kiss his cheek. Junhoe couldn't do anything but smile.

"You're so cute. It's like you have the most wholesome thoughts, I'm really not used to seeing that in, like...any adult."

"I don't know what that quite means but thanks."

Jinhwan nodded, looking over Junhoe with a raised eyebrow. "You look quite the mess."

"What you gonna do about it, lick me clean?" Junhoe asked with a soft smirk and Jinhwan grinned, pressing closer as he hummed, "I could, couldn't I?" and at times like these when Jinhwan was being too irresistible for his own good, Junhoe always felt amazed because Jinhwan was being irresistible for  _him_. Just for him. So he leant down, slotting their lips together slowly and Jinhwan's way of kissing back was so gentle that Junhoe almost didn't notice. God, his lips were the softest things, stained raspberry red the last time Junhoe had seen them and now that was all Junhoe could taste, lacing his tongue while Jinhwan's hands smoothed over his shirt, almost peeking under.

"Can I tell you something?" Jinhwan whispered against him, words slurred and Junhoe barely hummed a yes as he unlatched their lips, and Jinhwan was glistering, far better than gold and Junhoe didn't know  _why_  a Shakespeare quote was running through his head now. "You're still my sugar baby, and I managed to miss your birthday because you're a moron who didn't tell me-" 

"Come on, you were in Estonia." 

"I'm still mad, okay? So I got you just, just a little something, I think you'll see it some time soon-" 

"You bought me that island, didn't you?" 

Jinhwan laughed brightly, shaking his head and Junhoe smiled as he dipped down to peck his lips. Jinhwan's eyes were sparkling at him when he pulled away. "I was tempted! But no, we gotta work our way up to that. Can't have a guy who walks everywhere having control over a foreign country." 

Junhoe frowned, utterly confused but then Jinhwan was jumping up to kiss his forehead and it was the cutest thing ever. "Now can we eat amazing pie and cuddle while watching sappy dramas? It's all I could wish for..." 

Junhoe nodded, and if he knew that alternatively meant Jinhwan pinning him down to the sofa and kissing him senseless then- well, he would've been more enthusiastic, probably. But the cuddling  _was_  the best part. He just loved how many types of warmth there were, like the body heat, Jinhwan's fuzzy hair, the meringue pie, their baked love. Like soft baked cookies. Fresh, warm, sweet, and they don't harden over time. Not to everyone's liking, not conventional, but soft-baked-cookie lovers could  _not_  care less. And Junhoe was definitely one of those. 

"God, this is gorgeous," Jinhwan groaned after his second slice of the pie and Junhoe beamed, nuzzling into him as the person on the TV said, all dramatic and inspiring,  _'I'm so in love with her but I can't tell her. Not yet.'_

"Gorgeous people make gorgeous things." 

"Mm, that's true with you," Jinhwan murmured, licking his lips before pulling Junhoe into another kiss and Junhoe moaned quietly, pressing closer into a raspberry dream. "My baby's incredible." 

Junhoe tried to speak but his breathing had gone shaky and he didn't want to stop kissing Jinhwan with his perfect lips that would just keep on whispering honey words. Weren't people supposed to be quiet when they were kissing, like, why else would all those shows have the guy shutting the girl up with a kiss? Jinhwan seemed to have never heard of that. 

And, one more thing. Junhoe wasn't sure if he'd ever been called 'incredible' before. Maybe pretty, handsome, but he hadn't been smart in school, he hadn't been amazingly athletic when he could've been, and he couldn't afford the food and tech classes. 

Incredible. 

_An incredible person told me I was incredible._

A while passed and Jinhwan was sleeping but not sleeping, head resting on Junhoe's shoulder, and Junhoe's eyes were fixed on the tv screen. 

_"I'm not who you think I am-"_

_"I get to see the real you, you're **exactly**  what I think you are. What you're not is what everyone else thinks you are, but I know you."   
_

Did Jinhwan know him?

Junhoe was snapped out of it when he felt hands smooth down his arms and lips kiss his shoulder. "Hey, we should sleep. Wanna stay over?" 

"Well, if you think you can handle yourself around me," Junhoe teased, holding back a laugh when Jinhwan's lips travelling up his neck paused, "then sure."

Jinhwan grinned, hugging him from behind. "That sounds like a challenge but I'll try."


	12. weak hearts and rose water

"DUUUUUUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE,  _BRO-_ "

"Woah, where did you come from? Why are we going crazy now?" Junhoe asked in confusion, sipping his orange cordial and loving how he felt so casually fancy whenever he was in Hanbin's apartment. And now here Chanwoo was messing it all up in his baggy clothes and bucket hat while rushing through like a madman - but nah, Junhoe didn't mind. That was him to Chanwoo only a few days ago, anyway.

"Your video, moron!" Chanwoo yelped as he crashed onto the sofa beside Junhoe, shoulder pressed up against the elder's as he scrolled through his phone to try and get what he was talking about, and Junhoe nodded.

"Yeah. I told you about that already-"

"No, I mean it's gone viral."

Junhoe blinked. For a second that scared him, the thought of so many people seeing his face and him being stupid but...hey, he was the one who had put it out there. Anything could have happened. "Oh. Probably 'cause of Jinhwan-hyung." 

"No, dude, look at the comments. I took some screenshots of nice ones," Chanwoo said, eyes still trained on the phone while Junhoe leaned back, giving him the most judging look.

"Why do you go to these lengths?"

"My bestie deserves the best, now shut UP," Chanwoo grumbled, slapping Junhoe's thigh and the elder yelped. "Okay...got it! Now  _look._ "

"Alright, alright, calm down! What's up with you?"

Chanwoo let out a sigh, taking off his hat and messing with his hair a little before putting it back on. "Nothing. I promise. Can we look at the thing now?"

Junhoe frowned but nodded, leaning into Chanwoo's side just to give the guy a little bit of comfort if he couldn't do it in words, and he felt a little placated when Chanwoo rested his head against his. But then Junhoe was finally reading the comments and anything else? Temporarily forgotten. 

_'YOOO THIS DUDE IS SUCH A HOT MESS I LOVE'_

_'He's funny, tall, handsome, and has the best smile ever?? KBS hello hire him straight away, what are you doing???'_

_'came here for jinhwan, stayed for this cute dude'_

_'aren't you koo junhoe, trainee from yg back in like 2017-18 or whatever? I was always wondering why you never debuted! if you're going into the cooking business then really good for you, I hope it turns out great!'_

_'GAHHAHA I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING HE'S SO WEIRD'_

_'omg are him and jinani dating? please say yes!'_

_'This is who I want to get the job. My favourite of the entry videos I've seen for sure, and not only because he managed to get a celebrity on it because even then, it just seemed like they were natural friends; but it's like the camera's not even there. He's so normal and just himself, and his personality is great. KBS? Do something right and get on him.'_

Junhoe frowned, tilting his head to the side. "People are nicer here than they usually are."

"You feel happy?"

"I think so."

"You're really great, you know. Do you think I don't know that a big reason that you quit the music industry was because you thought people wouldn't like you?"

Junhoe blinked, turning to look at Chanwoo with wide eyes but the latter held up a finger. "Come on, I  _know_  you. I know what goes through your head- well, most of the time. You're not a bad person, Junhoe. Being blunt and open doesn't make you one."

"What's the point of you telling me this if I don't get the job?"

"There's a maybe there somewhere. Believe in that maybe, maybe?"

Junhoe rolled his eyes, smiling a little and Chanwoo grinned as he nudged the elder. "So, let's push that aside for now. Can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot."

"Are you and Jinhwan-hyung, like...a thing now?"

Junhoe bristled immediately. God, he hadn't been expecting that and he had no idea what to say, what would Jinhwan want him to say? But then again, Chanwoo was Junhoe's best friend. "Uh...what makes you ask that?"

"Just the vibes you're giving off. Not that it could mean anything, you're both flirty," Chanwoo said with a wide smile and he didn't seem threatening at all, which was a very good thing. "And with you saying that you were into him. Did you find out whether he's using you or not?"

"Yeah, yeah I did...he's not. Not really."

Chanwoo nodded, looked calmly proud but then Junhoe's phone went off and they both jolted. Junhoe looked about, fishing in his pockets before finally tugging out and Chanwoo peered at him in curiosity. "Who is it?"

Junhoe blinked at the Caller ID a few times, so confused about it that he forgot to answer Chanwoo and instead answered the call. "Hyung?"

"Hey, baby, how are you?" Jinhwan's honeyed voice called out, a smile in his tone and Junhoe could feel himself melting.

"Uh, good...where are you? I hear a lot of wind and stuff."

"Shooting in the desert."

Junhoe blinked again, saying, "Oh. Cool." While secretly thinking 'what the actual fuck' but Jinhwan might not appreciate that. How did one even get service in the desert?  _Which_  desert?

"You're at Hanbin's apartment, right?"

"Of course."

"Then I just want you to look outside. I'll see you later, alright?"

Junhoe slowly nodded but he spiralled into panic once he heard the line go dead. "Hyung? Jinhwan?!"

"Wait, that was Jinhwan-hyu-"

"Shut up," Junhoe said distractedly, pushing Chanwoo's face out of the way before getting up and jogging towards the front door, looking through the peephole but he couldn't see a thing. Still ignoring Chanwoo's groaning (Junhoe had qualms to think that the guy had fallen off the sofa), he shoved on some shoes but became more hesitant when opening the door, so slowly that Chanwoo was able to catch up with him by then.

"What is i-"

"Shhh!"

Chanwoo grumbled a little but he did shut up, and finally the door was open just a little but enough for Junhoe to look through and for a moment, he just stared. And then he slammed the door closed and turned around, eyes wide. "Chan, I think someone famous is at this house."

"Yes," Chanwoo replied in an imitation of Junhoe's tone, with just as wide eyes, "and that's me."

"No!" Junhoe yelled, thwacking Chanwoo's stomach. "I mean there's like a  _really nice_  car out there. It's like- I don't know if it looks expensive. But it's all sleek and, and it's like- it looks so  _new_. And  _polished._ "

"Hmm...maybe it's Hanbin's?"

"No, Hanbin doesn't have a car, even though he can drive- it's weird. Oh wait...actually, maybe he's got one now. And maybe this is it."

"Did Jinhwan-hyung tell you to look outside or something?"

Junhoe nodded and Chanwoo raised an eyebrow. "Then let's like...actually investigate, shall we?"

Junhoe actually agreed with Chanwoo on that so they both set out, cautiously - or well, Junhoe was very cautious and Chanwoo would do things like tap on windows which had Junhoe hissing at him. Chanwoo would only give him the laidback shrug of a millionaire and Junhoe wanted to slap him, but Chanwoo's tapping had them soon realising there was no-one inside the car which was very confusing. How did it get here, then? Had the person driving just run out, were they going to come back?

"Yo, dude," Chanwoo called out and Junhoe turned around to see Chanwoo pointing at something tucked in a windshield. "A note here. With your name on it."

Junhoe frowned, walking over and plucking it as carefully as he could. He recognised the writing...he flipped it around, and there was the very short note.

_For you, because I cannot bear to have a man I love complain about blisters (not that you have yet, but Chanwoo says otherwise)._

And then Junhoe froze, because he remembered the exact words Jinhwan had told him a week before.

_"Can't have a guy who walks everywhere having control over a foreign country."_

Junhoe instantly threw the note back onto the car, covering his mouth and Chanwoo stared at him with slight worry. "What?"

"Jinhwan-hyung bought me a fucking car."

Chanwoo slapped a hand over his mouth now too. "Holy shit, he's in love with you."

This time, Junhoe threw the note at Chanwoo. 

***

"So, this special 'man' in your life that you've mentioned before," the magazine interviewer said, making Jinhwan smile a little. "How's that going?" 

"What a sweetly worded question," Jinhwan said and the interviewer laughed. "I'd like to say it's going well. I mean, I can't say much yet, but he makes me so happy." 

"Will we be able to hear from the lucky guy anytime soon?" 

"Well, I think you already have." 

"Oh? Is he a celebrity?" 

"Not quite." 

Jinhwan was arm-in-arm with Yunhyeong as they walked out of the company building, laughing raucously over the most stupid things and Jinhwan didn't quite mind how hard Yunhyeong was squeezing his arm, which he usually would which was confusing. It could be something to do with how he had found Yunhyeong in tears and he was still worried, but Yunhyeong was the type of person who would just laugh when someone caught him and shake his head. Jinhwan didn't know how to ask what was wrong. 

"You know what, hyung? I think I'm becoming you. Now I'm the one complaining all the time about wanting someone to date," Yunhyeong laughed when they were in a car and Jinhwan looked at him. 

"That so?" 

"I'm just a bit tired really and it sounds nice." 

"I really really get that." 

Yunhyeong's head knocked back against the headrest, rolling a little to the side as he sighed. Jinhwan could only pat his hand. "You know, this one song? 'You know that I can treat you better than he can...'" 

"That's a Shawn Mendes song, right?" 

"Yeah. I was listening to it and that's what made me cry." 

"Seriously? Song, you've got  _such_  a weak heart," Jinhwan muttered in disbelief, laughing a little mostly in relief if that was all it was. Yunhyeong shrugged, smiling a little tearfully down at his shoes as he said, "Yeah, always have been. My emotions always heighten in spring...I don't know what it is." 

"You're like a lamb." 

"I agree. I'm very much a lamb." 

"I love you, alright?" 

Yunhyeong stared at Jinhwan in surprise and Jinhwan snorted, waving a hand as he looked away. "Don't react. Just let me tell you it so you can have that in your head among the sad things." 

"You're so nice, hyung." 

Jinhwan closed his eyes, wondering what would happen if Yunhyeong said that to all the people he had hurt over the years. "Thanks." 

Jinhwan bid Yunhyeong goodbye as he stumbled out of the car when he got to his apartment, shaking out his stiff limbs so he could at least walk normally to the door then collapse onto his sofa. Perhaps Jiwon could be there so Jinhwan could sweet-talk him into giving him a massage. Or blackmail him. Jinhwan was pretty sure that he had some pretty raunchy pictures of the guy at Hanbin's Christmas ball last year. 

Jinhwan frowned when he realised the door wasn't open because Jiwon always did that because he was stupid and also for Junhoe. He ended up stabbing the door with his key many times before getting it into the keyhole, and finally he was in. Walking through the entryway, into the living room, ready for sweet relief of relaxation... 

Until he saw something right in front of him that kind of postponed that readiness. All Jinhwan could do was stare. And feel a little disgusted. 

"God, you're loud," Hanbin murmured into Jiwon's neck and the elder shook his head adamantly, keeping his lips shut though he melted into moans when Hanbin pinned his wrists against the wall, kissing back up to his mouth and Jiwon pushed back as Hanbin leant forwards. "See? Loud." 

"I hate you." 

"I know," Hanbin grinned, pecking Jiwon's lips and Jiwon's eyes looked so admiring when they looked at Hanbin, and Hanbin's were soft. Not that Jinhwan really noticed that. He was trying to inch forwards with the least amount of noise as possible, but then he just  _had_  to knock into a corner of a counter and curse out, making Hanbin and Jiwon freeze before looking at Jinhwan. And Jinhwan looked back very casually.

"Oh no don't mind me, you can continue. I just wanna change clothes, I'll leave after. Keep satisfying your sexual libido." 

Hanbin burst into laughter while Jiwon looked ready to die. "Hyung, I'm gonna kill you." 

"Well, perhaps don't make out somewhere other than a room? Also oh yes, don't  _dare_  to think that the roommate would mind seeing such a thing when they're supposed to be your best friend." 

"This hasn't been happening long! It doesn't mean anything, he's just kinda hot!" 

"You weren't saying that last night-" 

"HANBIN, SHUT UP!"  

"Nice comeback even though Ji was with me last night," Jinhwan said brightly in that hidden aggressive way that he had mastered and Hanbin didn't seem to notice. Jiwon had sank down the wall by now, hiding his face in his knees pulled to his chest and Jinhwan was about to tell Hanbin to get the fuck out until he saw the younger crouch down too, resting his hands on Jiwon's knees and whispering something that had Jiwon look up, looking shy but Hanbin kissed him again, and Jiwon closed his eyes as he kissed back. 

Maybe they were cute. Maybe Jinhwan didn't need to bash Hanbin's head in because if he made Jiwon happy then it was fine. He just didn't understand why Jiwon had been keeping this from him. 

And then he thought about him and Junhoe. 

_Ah._

Relationships were complicated, Jinhwan knew, so he decided to leave the two be and head to his room. Hanbin let out a small sigh of relief when he heard him go.

"You good?" Hanbin asked Jiwon, littering his hands with kisses and the elder shook his head, looking at Hanbin miserably. 

"Hyung's gonna hate me forever. The dude loves you, why was he acting like that?" 

"We both know he's protective. Though I'm surprised too."

"I mean, you know we first got close because he got me out of a sucky relationship? He goes a little crazy over these things."  

"What sucky relationship? You've never told me about that and I've known you forever." 

"Doesn't matter. All that does is that I got out of it, and that you're way better." 

Hanbin raised an eyebrow. "I thought this 'doesn't mean anything'?" 

Jiwon shrugged. "I feel like you could. If you...wanted to." 

"YOU GUYS ARE VERY GROSS BY THE WAY, JUST SAYING," Jinhwan called out from his room and Hanbin burst into giggles while Jiwon groaned. 

"Junhoe, pick up your phone, I BOUGHT the damn thing for you," Jinhwan grumbled to himself, pacing across the room. "What kind of boyfriend is this? God." 

"I heard all of that." 

Jinhwan froze. "Yes, well...it was deserved." 

"Says the guy that bought me a fucking car." 

Jinhwan grinned, delighted. "I'm glad you brought that up." 

"What, the fucking car? I'm not mentally recovered enough yet to say that without swearing so don't mind that." 

"Is there any chance you pick me up in that car?"

"Hyung. Oh my God. Okay, look, I've been sitting in this fucking car for an hour and I am too terrified to touch the steering wheel. I can't be your knight in shining armour right now, I can't even bring myself to be curious." 

"Oh, please,  _please_  stop being so cute...can you do it in the name of love?" 

"That's a hard no. I already think that  _you're_  too expensive for me to be allowed to touch." 

"Jiwon and Hanbin are being in love and it's gross. I need you to save me, even though I'm just gonna be gross with you but still." 

Junhoe sighed so heavily and Jinhwan's cheeks were hurting a little from smiling so hard. "Only because a kiss a day keeps the love doctor away. Wear your cheapest clothes because I don't wanna handle any more riches after this ride which I'm really dreading yet I'm so excited that my socks are gonna come off." 

"I thought I was expensive myself, though," Jinhwan teased, grinning when Junhoe took a while to answer but he didn't disappoint. 

"You are but I let myself have you. Stop buying me things because you're honestly enough to have me spoiled for the rest of my life."

Jinhwan's heart fluttered, teeth sinking into his lower lip. "You're the one who spoils me, Koo Junhoe." 

He could hear Junhoe's smile as he murmured, "All I can give you is words so I try my best." 

Jinhwan ran straight past Hanbin and Jiwon when he left his room because the idiots still hadn't decided to go to a room and dear lord, Jinhwan was pretty sure that Hanbin didn't have a  _shirt_  on anymore and he was about to retch - but he heard a horn weakly honking from outside and he quickly swung the door open and flew through it, slamming it behind him as he held out his arms. "Junhoe!" 

Junhoe slowly turned his head from where he was in the driver's seat, giving Jinhwan a blank look. "I drove the fucking car. And I am not okay." 

Jinhwan wasn't sure if he had ever been happier to see the guy, running towards him but he stopped himself when Junhoe was suddenly opening the door and getting out. Jinhwan felt discouraged, because he had really wanted to do a whole thing of reaching through the car window and kissing Junhoe's face off. 

"Hey-" 

"Did you even know if I could drive? Because I actually forgot I could drive until today. I haven't driven a car since I was seventeen, hyung. Seventeen." 

"Aren't you twenty-two?" 

"That's five very long years." 

"Did it go well?" 

"Oh,  _yeah_ , yeah! If we don't take into account me screaming a lot. While going at a snail's pace. The windows weren't open but I still wished someone could hear me and put me out of my misery but of course, it was all in the name of love."

"You big baby, come here," Jinhwan said, almost gushing as he reached out to clamp his arms around Junhoe and the younger pouted at him, voice meticulously cracking as he whispered, "I almost died today," and Jinhwan leant up to peck his lips. "You should go into acting." 

Junhoe had never looked more offended. "These are my real emotions, excuse you." 

"Come on, cutie. I'll drive." 

"You better." 

"Alright, calm down!" 

"I never asked for a car." 

"Do you not want the car?" 

"Hyung, you don't understand," Junhoe muttered, looking agonised as he crossed his arms, leaning back ever so lightly against the car. "Every time you buy me things, my self-esteem hits rock bottom. I can't buy you stuff. I can't make you feel good like that." 

Jinhwan came closer, keeping his arms around Junhoe and he squeezed the younger gently as he murmured, "And I never asked you to. I spoil you because I can. Because it makes  _me_  feel good. I come with those kinds of perks, but you, you're so much more than enough without them." 

"That's sweet but I don't believe you." 

"We joke about it but you're not really my sugar baby, Junhoe. You're my boyfriend. You're the person I'd...want to come home to every day...the person I'd want to kiss me just once to make my day. The person I'd want to make happy. Even if I don't get all of these things and all of the other things I want then just a few of them's enough." 

"Celebrities. You guys get lessons on how to speak perfectly all the time, don't you?" Junhoe muttered, his face a pretty pink as he smiled down at Jinhwan shyly and he was rose water floating into every crook of Jinhwan's life. Enhancing it all with colour and softness. "You guys know how to deal with everything." 

Jinhwan deflated. "Well, I don't really know what to do when someone cries. What would you do?" 

Junhoe seemed to be thinking it over, humming a little before he said, "Well, I've seen Yunhyeong-hyung crying a bit recently. It depends on the mood, sometimes I can jest him and get away with it but most times I just go and sit next to him and let him wail at me. I listen. And sometimes give him a hug at the end." 

"What's he been sad about?" Jinhwan asked worriedly, his heart breaking a little and Junhoe smiled sadly. 

"Unrequited love, hyung. It happens to the best of us." 

Jinhwan frowned, looking down and Junhoe kissed his cheek. "Don't get sad. He's okay now, he's laying low with Donghyuk at a party tonight, I think. He has people who love him." 

"He doesn't ever deserve to be sad." 

"I know. Who in their right mind wouldn't love him? Don't tell him I said that." 

"We should form an alliance to beat them up." 

"Sugar Culture strikes again! Well, it's our first time but saying again sounds better!" 

"I've missed us." 

"You were in the desert only a week. Don't be dramatic." 

"A week is seven days meaning many hours and many more minutes without you." 

"Well...you can make it up to me now," Junhoe suggested, wiggling his eyebrows and Jinhwan beamed as he reached up to cup Junhoe's face and bring him down for a kiss that had his toes curling as Junhoe pushed into him slightly, hands resting at Jinhwan's hips. 

He felt so warm that he couldn't fathom it. All he knew was everything Junhoe.


	13. early love and forgotten tea

Junhoe was pretty sure that he wanted to scream when his phone went off  _just_  when he was about to fall into the best sleep ever. He slammed his hand around for it, groaning when it took him far too long to find it but he got it in the end, and winced at the light burning his eyes. He managed to shakily swipe right, he was proud of himself for that.

"Junhoe," Chanwoo's scared voice said over the phone at this horrible time of two am, but his tone? It had Junhoe alert immediately. "I'm so confused."

"Come the heck over right now."

Junhoe tried to be as quiet as he could as he tiptoed downstairs so to not wake Hanbin up, but when he walked past the guy's room, he was pretty sure he could hear kissing noises and some whispers he couldn't quite make out. There was a goofy giddy laugh at one point that pulled at Junhoe's brain a little before Hanbin was hissing at the guy to shut up, though there was love and laughter in his tone.  _Oh_.

Well, if Hanbin was getting some then what could Junhoe be but proud?

Then there was soft knocking on the front door and Junhoe pushed that out of his mind, rushing off with less tact now.

"Hey, hey, come here," Junhoe reassured as Chanwoo appeared in a crinkled hoodie with even messier hair and a worried look on his face. He led the guy to the sofa and they both sat down, with Junhoe patting Chanwoo's back. "You okay?"

"I was just with Yunhyeong-hyung," Chanwoo said nervously and Junhoe frowned.

"Is that bad? You guys are good friends, I know that."

"No, it's like- I'll start from the top. You know me and Hana aren't...great."

"Understatement of the century, mate."

"Yeah, well, you know I told you that stuff where I wasn't sure if I was...attracted to her...?"

Junhoe wished he knew where this was going, it felt obvious, but he couldn't piece it together just yet. "Yeah, I know."

"Well, we had another fight today. It was over the toaster. Or I mean, it was supposed to be over the toaster, but it got real personal soon enough. Hana was all like 'yo I'll end this relationship if you don't get more affectionate' and I just exploded, I was like 'you think I won't be happy once we're over?! I'll be  _very_  happy!' and she was all shocked. Then I stormed out. Well, no, it wasn't storming out, I just felt bad. I shouldn't have said any of that-"

"No, Chan, it's what you really think, isn't it?" Junhoe assured and Chanwoo slowly nodded.

"I  _think_  so but...months ago, I thought she was the perfect girl. I thought I could see myself falling in love with her. But then nothing, nothing happened going forward, and then near the present, it started getting worse. My manager's pushing me to ask her to  _marry_  me, dude.  _Marriage._ "

"Oh, that's a hard no. Not with how bad things are. You can barely stand her anymore, let alone wanna be married to her?!"

"I know, I know...but I, I went to Yunhyeong-hyung's house after the fight. He was so  _nice_  to me, Junhoe," Chanwoo sniffed, sounding like he was gonna cry and that made Junhoe smile a bit. "Why is he just so like that? He let me eat ice-cream in his bed and said he didn't mind if I spilt it and he stayed there beside me too and - this is it. Do you know how pretty he is?"

It took a while, a while filled with Chanwoo staring at him before Junhoe finally got it. "Chanwoo, you're joking."

"I kissed him," Chanwoo said miserably and Junhoe was really about to beat him up until Chanwoo yelled out, "ON THE CHEEK!"

" _Shit_ , dude, you scared me...please. I'm begging you. I don't care whether you feel attracted to Yunhyeong or not, Hana or not, but break up with Hana before you might cheat on her. Please."

"Junhoe, I would never cheat," Chanwoo said with wide terrified eyes, shaking his head. "I would hate myself so much. But I can't make any big decisions yet because I'm just so confused...I'm supposed to be straight. I  _know_  I'm supposed to be straight. I've never liked guys before, or I would've jumped you years ago."

"Mm, with how I look, true."

Junhoe knew this might be an opportunity for him to tell Chanwoo about Yunhyeong being in love with him. But he decided against it.

"Tell me how he makes you feel," Junhoe said out of nowhere, raising his hands in surrender when Chanwoo gave him an odd look. "Just trust me! It'll do something for you."

Chanwoo looked down, swallowing, before he slowly nodded. "Okay. Okay, sure, sure. It's, uh, so easy to talk to him. He's lame but funny, he does make me laugh. His half-back-hugs are really cute. He makes me feel warm, you know? Really warm. With stuff he does. His facial expressions, and the sweet things he says. Just the way he talks. The way he does things. The way he...moves...?"

Junhoe knew he shouldn't be smiling, but he couldn't help it. Chanwoo sounded so happy. "So in the end, it's not even really about how he looks, right?"

Chanwoo looked ready for Junhoe to give him the key to the universe. "Huh?"

"You're attracted to Yunhyeong-hyung's personality as well as his looks. Can you say that for Hana?"

Chanwoo winced. "Junhoe, don't do this to me..."

"Hey, you're the one doing this to yourself. You're questioning yourself. At least  _try_  to get your head together, man."

"I will. I'll work it out, I'll find out what I want. So I don't hurt people," Chanwoo mumbled, and Junhoe was suddenly hit by the thought that maybe Chanwoo already knew about Yunhyeong's feelings. He was snapped out of it when Chanwoo fell to the side, resting his head in Junhoe's lap while pouting up at him. "Thank you. Seriously, I don't know what on  _earth_  I'd do without you always being there for me."

"Well, that's what you get when you have a friend who's so much more jobless than you," Junhoe deadpanned, patting Chanwoo's head as the younger laughed. "Hope it all turns out okay for you."

"How are things with you and Jinhwan-hyung?" Chanwoo asked as a nice change of a subject, and he grinned when he saw the small smile and blush grow on Junhoe's face. "Yeah, you don't even need to answer me, I see how it is. I'm glad you guys are good. I'm glad it's not as messed up as the lot I got."

"Hey, don't think about that. Think about how I might become the face of KBS' new cooking show today."

Chanwoo's eyes and mouth opened wide as he mouthed a, ' _Today_?!' and Junhoe grinned down at him, nodding, and Chanwoo moved about like a firecracker on the spot. "YES! YOU'RE SO GONNA GET IT AND YOU'RE GONNA BE SO PERFECT AND-"

"Shhhh, Hanbin's having sexy times with some dude, don't disturb them!" Junhoe hissed and Chanwoo gasped a scandalised, " _Really_? Wow."

"Look, I don't think I'm gonna get it so...don't expect to celebrate."

"No,  _no_ , okay, you were great. So many people liked you, I'm holding out so much hope, okay, aim high! What did Brendon Urie say?!"

"Always have high high hopes for a living..."

"And we live by that," Chanwoo said firmly, holding out his hand and Junhoe slowly grinned, clamping the hand with his own.

"Alright."

***

Junhoe was all smiles when he got the email saying that he hadn't got the job.

He wasn't at all surprised. He just found it funny how he had actually had some hope for a while. About how even his friends had had faith in him. But he was used to not amounting to anything, so it didn't hit him that hard.

Chanwoo sent him a teary face and a heart over text since he couldn't come over, and the others weren't aware that the results had come out since Junhoe wasn't going to exactly tell them the 'good news'. Pretending like he was really sad just to have Jinhwan come and kiss and coddle him sounded like bliss, but Junhoe didn't want to disturb him. He had a meeting that day, Junhoe knew that much.

He only had a morning shift that day, so afterwards he just climbed onto the sofa and lay there. Hanbin was in his home studio (the basement) and Junhoe could distantly hear the sound of music floating through the house. That was a perk about living here - it was never quite silent. Junhoe still loved music, and he got to hear Hanbin's unreleased masterpieces even if it was just very quietly, and he loved it. Not that he'd tell Hanbin that.  

So now Junhoe was just wallowing, listening to Kylie Minogue on repeat and eating homemade cookies he had stolen from...himself? He  _had_  made them but they were meant for the coffee shop- whatever, he was sure it was allowed. 

" _They told me stories and they got me good,_ " Junhoe sang lazily, dropping his arm over the side of the sofa and he just about caught himself from rolling off.  _"Who's sayin' fairytales aren't true? If he saves me from the dragon, well for that lovin', I'd be a fool, mmmmmm..."_

"Who turned you country, Junhoe?" an amused voice said as someone seemed to be coming up the stairs from the basement and Junhoe shrugged, saying a morose, "Kylie Minogue," and the person was quiet, leading Junhoe to believe that he was speechless. Junhoe wasn't surprised. But then he sat up, confused as hell when he looked to the kitchen to see Jiwon opening a cupboard and taking out some crisps.

"Wait, Jiwon-hyung? Wait...which apartment am I in?"

"Your one, kid, don't worry," Jiwon laughed but Junhoe felt even more confused.

"Then why are you here? Were  _you_  the one in the basement? Where's Hanbin?"

"He's down there too."

"Ohhhh, right, you're working on something together," Junhoe realised, nodding as he settled back down on the sofa but Jiwon bit his lip, looking a little uneasy as he slowly went over to Junhoe and took a seat next to him but on the floor, and Junhoe blinked at him confusedly. Jiwon held up the crisps bag.

"Take a chip. Or a few."

Junhoe did so, thinking that it was an exchange so he gave Jiwon a cookie which Jiwon grinned at. "Thank you."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing but...I wanna tell you something."

"What?"

"Me and Hanbin, well, we're dating."

Junhoe blinked, eyes wide but he wasn't sure if it was surprise from the actual news, or how Jiwon was telling it to him right here and now, one-on-one. And how  _Jiwon_  was the dude from last night?! 

"Oh."

"It's not weird, right?" Jiwon asked, furrowing his eyebrows and Junhoe sat up a little, shaking his head.

"No, no. I mean, Jinhwan-hyung and I are dating too so it's not like-" 

_WAIT._

Junhoe slapped a hand over his mouth, then his other hand too, eyes massive now as he quickly scrambled off the sofa and stumbled out the house as fast as he could, ignoring Jiwon's perplexed calling as he ran out of the apartment, out of the complex, and straight out onto the street. 

He was forgetting once again that he had a car and besides, he was running on straight adrenaline as he raced across the cobblestones instead of avoiding them for the path, and he didn't even know if he was out of breath or not when he finally reached the high street and got to the YG Building, only distantly remembering the last encounter which would have him spiralling but he  _needed_  to get somewhere. He knew where the meeting room was, so he ran as fast as a blur so no-one would prosecute him and burst into the room, yelling out, "HYUNG!"

And then about ten people were turning to him, as well as Jinhwan who was sitting on the edge, blinking at Junhoe in utter shock. "J-Junhoe, what-"

"I-I... _he-_  I-" Junhoe rested a hand on the door, trying to catch his breath and Jinhwan muttered apologies to everyone else as he got out of his seat and speed-walked over to Junhoe, pulling him out of the room by his sleeve while closing the door, and Junhoe could only follow. He was expecting Jinhwan to yell at him because everyone was always telling him that Jinhwan was good at getting angry, but instead he got hands cupping his face and worried sweet eyes scanning him all over. Maybe Jinhwan really was soft for him.

"What's going on?"

"I told...Jiwon-hyung...that we're- we're dating," Junhoe gasped out and Jinhwan's confusion vanished to make way for surprise. "A-And I swear it was an accident I mean we haven't talked about telling people because I know I can't just tell anyone without you knowing because like you're in this relationship too and he's also your friend and he might accidentally let other people know and things might go wrong and it's just-"

"Hey, baby, it's okay. It was just Jiwon and I trust him. Did you run all the way from your apartment?"

Junhoe nodded desolately and Jinhwan smiled so fondly, tiptoeing to kiss Junhoe's nose. "You're the cutest dork, aren't you? You even knew I was in a meeting."

"I had to tell you..."

Jinhwan's arms travelled down to Junhoe's waist, patting it lightly. "Give me fifteen minutes then this'll be over and we can talk, properly-"

The door suddenly opened then and Jinhwan sprang away from him, making Junhoe feel a little sad but he couldn't complain, and stood there was a man from the meeting who Junhoe didn't recognise from trainee days. He had to be a new staff member. He had a nice smile. "You're Koo Junhoe, aren't you?"

"Yes, sir," Junhoe said, bowing his head a little and the man turned to Jinhwan then.

"How do you know him, Jinhwan?"

"He was a, uh, childhood friend of a friend's?" Jinhwan said uncertainly, looking to Junhoe for clarification who nodded.

"I see. Well, Junhoe, I want to tell you that I saw your baking video, you're very charismatic. I'm sorry that you didn't get the job but I hope the public see more of you."

"That's very nice of you, sir," Junhoe said, ignoring how Jinhwan looked at him, eyes questioning. This was why he hadn't needed Jinhwan knowing. "I won't keep you longer, I'll be off now-"

"Nonsense, I can wrap up the meeting now, you kids go off and talk. I'll see you later, Jinhwan."

"Oh...thanks, hyungnim," Jinhwan said in surprise and the guy nodded, smiling breezily again before going back into the room, and Junhoe wondered if they should start leaving until Jinhwan took hold of his hand, or more like his fingers, holding on loosely, gently. "You didn't get the job?"

"Yeah. Lotsa good people. I think I just wasn't professional enough."

"I know you're sad. Even if it's just a little bit," Jinhwan said as he properly held onto Junhoe's hand, and Junhoe weakly intertwined their fingers. "You had a bit of hope, right? So it's only natural."

"No, no, I'm glad someone else got the opportunity."

Jinhwan looked unconvinced, and he quickly pecked Junhoe's lips. Junhoe hadn't been expecting it at  _all_  and he was left dazed., wondering: this was the most public area he could think of where there were people influential enough to tear Jinhwan down, and here the guy was...not caring. Or maybe, he cared about Junhoe more. Or that was going too far and Jinhwan just hadn't been thinking, but Junhoe was good with that too.

"So, why'd you tell Jiwon? How did it come up?"

"He was telling me that he uh..." Junhoe trailed off, looking at Jinhwan carefully and the elder looked confused before it dawned on him.

"Oh, did he say stuff about him and Hanbin?"

"Yeah! You know?"

"I walked in on them," Jinhwan deadpanned, leaving Junhoe looking at him curiously. "And we're not bringing it up ever again. I'm tired anyway..."

"Okay. We'll go to your apartment and I'll make you pancakes," Junhoe said brightly and Jinhwan narrowed his eyes at him, slipping an arm around Junhoe's waist underneath his coat. It made Junhoe's heart all kinds of fluttery. 

"Aren't I supposed to be making  _you_  feel better?"

"I don't know what on earth you're talking about, I'm as chipper as the sun."

"Okay, you're recessing into hiding pain mode. I'm not gonna let you do anything, let's just buy waffles-"

"We can't- we can't go outside. And be lovey. We can just act like friends though-"

"No, no you're right. And I wanna be as 'lovey' as possible," Jinhwan mumbled, rubbing Junhoe's torso which had the hairs on Junhoe's skin stand up a little. "Come on, I'll take you home and I could get stuff delivered."

"But I can do something-"

"Junhoe,  _get the hint_ ," Jinhwan said slowly, stepping around to stand in front of Junhoe, straightening out the younger's collar. He looked beautiful and Junhoe had to bite his lip. "I wanna  _spend time with you_. The only thing I'd want you to do is me, but it might be too early for that."

Junhoe squawked in shock, quickly clearing his throat straight after and Jinhwan grinned, tugging on Junhoe's sleeve as he started walking. Junhoe could only follow like a lovesick puppy. Not that he was in love. Not yet. Definitely not yet.

***

There was a voicemail on Junhoe's phone that he had left at Hanbin's apartment, and he realised that Hanbin and Jiwon were both gone. He frowned, nodding at Jinhwan who said he was going to take a quick phone call, before he tried to listen to the voicemail.

"Hey, Junhoe!" Jiwon's cheerful voice came through, but it held a bit of trepidation. "Uh, me and Hanbin will probably be gone by the time you come back - ah, about that, I don't really know where you ran off to or like... _why_...but if it's because you don't like me and Hanbin dating then that's okay. I'm real sorry."

Junhoe grimaced, quickly shaking his head. "No, it wasn't, it was because-"

"But you said something, right?" Jiwon's voice continued and Junhoe cursed because he had forgotten that it was a voicemail. "If you ran off 'cause you let loose that you and Jinhwan-hyung are dating, man, you know I'm not judging, right? I'm so happy! You guys are probably hella cute. You know, tall and short, experienced and clueless aha I love it - Hanbin approves too! Wait, shit, was I supposed to tell Hanbin...ah...either way! I hope everything's going well, you deserve each other! Alright, catch you later!"

Junhoe felt really warm as the voicemail ended, and he made a spontaneous decision to save it. Not that he'd ever listen to it again, but it was a sort of sentiment to show how much he appreciated it. He pocketed his phone and left to try and find Jinhwan again. It was easy, he could hear Jinhwan's voice coming from near the front door, but Junhoe froze a little when he heard Jinhwan say, "I won't break up with him."

Junhoe gulped, flattening himself against the wall so no part of him might be seen. Jinhwan wouldn't want to have this conversation in front of him, he knew that much.

"I don't know if you're aware of this but I'm  _gay_ , I think that's already got me enough publicity," Jinhwan said dryly, and Junhoe could imagine his crossed arms and raised eyebrow. The sark in him that made him Kim Jinhwan. "A PR relationship would just be overkill. Also, I  _love_  him, so it's not like I wanna leave him nor am I gonna put him any danger. I hope."

Junhoe was frozen again.

"Look, I know he's not famous, so what? Let me do what I want. I'm a normal human who's been out there long enough, and you've gotta accept that I'll want to date and, this is quite a few years into my career so you're getting lucky here. Yeah. Thought you'd come around."

Jinhwan didn't say anything else, not even a goodbye, and Junhoe decided to slowly peek his head around the wall. Sure enough, Jinhwan was hanging up and shaking his head. There was a derisive yet weary look in his face, and Junhoe felt bad despite so many other emotions battling each other in his head. 

"Hyung..."

Jinhwan snapped his head up, staring at Junhoe with wide eyes and Junhoe did the same thing back, clutching onto the wall tighter. It had to have been a good minute before Jinhwan finally broke the silence. "How much did you he-"

"Not much!" Junhoe squeaked before coughing, trying to lower his voice. "I mean...yeah, I don't think it was much..."

Jinhwan blinked at him, and Junhoe could tell that Jinhwan could read him so easily. Just like always.

"I didn't mean it when I said I loved you," Jinhwan blurted out and Junhoe quickly nodded. "It was just for the sake of the argument."

"I know-"

"It's too early for-"

"I know!"

"Okay, o- cool," Jinhwan muttered with a small swallow, nodding. They couldn't make eye contact now. A few moments passed full of shuffling and averting eyes and not knowing what the hell to do until Junhoe managed to say, "I'm gonna make tea."

"I'll be in the living room!" Jinhwan exclaimed almost immediately after before dashing off, and at least Junhoe could breathe once he was gone. Though he hadn't managed to ask Jinhwan if he wanted tea. Or  _how_  he wanted it. Well, he was getting it now with milk and two sugars because Junhoe was definitely not risking talking to him just yet.

His phone buzzed while he was making the tea, but he didn't really pay heed to it. His notifications weren't usually important. Probably Health telling him to do more steps.

Was there an app for Love? He hoped so. He wanted to ask it so many things. Like how long it takes before it's deemed suitable to think you love someone. How long does it take the average person to fall in love?  How do you  _know_  if you're in love? What are the symptoms? How is it different to just liking someone? Is it intuition or science?

Junhoe was very careful when bringing the cups into the living room. He didn't dare look at Jinhwan for fear of getting distracted as he slowly lowered himself on the sofa at the same time as he set the cups on the table, before yelping when arms wound around him. Thank  _God_  he had let go of the cups by then.

"Did you make me tea?" Jinhwan asked happily, chin hooking over Junhoe's shoulder and the younger nodded, blushing briefly when Jinhwan kissed his cheek. "You're so sweet."

"Making tea isn't difficult so I thought why not," Junhoe mumbled as Jinhwan let go of him and reached for the tea. "Hey...who's telling you to break up with me?"

"Ah, my manager. He's not telling me to 'break up with you' per se. Just warning me of the consequences or what not, so basically saying it's a bad idea," Jinhwan shrugged, and Junhoe nodded, feeling more nervous about that than Jinhwan seemed to be.

"How does he know? About us?"

Jinhwan took a sip before answering, and Junhoe was glad he didn't retch. Milk and two sugars from now on, milk and two sugars. "He kinda pieced two and two. He's smart like that. Sly smart. But I'm not gonna listen to him."

"You sure?" Junhoe asked quietly. "He might know best."

"He doesn't," Jinhwan said, voice hushed as he tugged on Junhoe's collar, and Junhoe didn't quite realise what he wanted until Jinhwan did it himself, leaning up to slot their lips together. It felt like forever since the last time. It felt like a weight was lifted from Junhoe's shoulders, and he hadn't realised how long he had been waiting for Jinhwan to kiss him. Jinhwan tasted like the tea and goddamn perfection, and Junhoe was having fleeting thoughts that he was really everything that Junhoe could ever want.

Maybe  _that_  was what love was.

"You're the one who knows. Not him," Junhoe whispered as they gently unlatched lips, Jinhwan's eyes dark as they looked into his, lips glistening and breathing heavy and slow while he nodded. Junhoe felt like he was under a spell as he pulled Jinhwan closer, breath hitching when Jinhwan's hands rested flat against his chest. "Hyung, you're fucking gorgeous."

"How  _dare_  you be the one to say that first," Jinhwan laughed breathily and Junhoe pecked his lips, squishing him into a half-hug. "It's probably the make-up."

"Yeah, make-up suits your face but I can tell you're not wearing much right now."

"Well, 'cause it was just a meeting..."

"You shouldn't have worn any. You're still beautiful without it."

"Not everyone thinks that," Jinhwan grumbled, poking the sofa and Junhoe cuddled into him, hoping that would make Jinhwan smile and it sort of worked.

"Hey, I read somewhere that a boyfriend's opinion is the only one that matters!"

"That's the worst most untrue thing I've ever heard. Probably misogynistic too in the context."

"Shut up, I was tryna be cute..."

"It's okay. Your opinion matters, darling," Jinhwan said sweetly, beaming at him which made Junhoe roll his eyes.

"You're a minx."

"Your minx."

They stared at each other for a moment before Junhoe said, "You're probably feeling warm in that," before he started taking Jinhwan's suit jacket off and the elder let him, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Ooh, who's the minx now if you're  _undressing_  m-"

"Are you okay?" Junhoe asked in fake concern as he rested the jacket carefully on the other half of the sofa. Jinhwan just stuck his tongue out at him and Junhoe raised an eyebrow. "I feel like someone's drugged you. Wait you haven't been drinking-"

"No, Junhoe, I'm  _happy_. When I'm with you, I can act like anything, right?" Jinhwan said innocently, leaning right forward and Junhoe had to move back, smiling fondly as he ran his fingers through Jinhwan's hair.

"Right. 'Cause it's with me that you can forget about your image."

"Pfft, what image," Jinhwan snorted quietly, though he seemed content enough by Junhoe's cheesy words. He really did try hard with everything he told Jinhwan, because, like he had said the other day:  _'all I can give you is words so I try my best.'_

"That good-looking, sexy, suave image."

"You don't think I'm good-looking, sexy and suave?" Jinhwan asked sullenly but Junhoe shook his head, kissing Jinhwan's pout. 

"You are. But I think you're more, too." 

"Like what?"

"You're funny," Junhoe hummed, pressing a kiss into Jinhwan's neck. "Confident, sweet, pretty stubborn,  _really_  romantic-" 

"Okay, stop, stop, I don't need to know!" Jinhwan squeaked when Junhoe started attacking him with too many kisses after each word, leaving Jinhwan falling onto his back and trying to hold Junhoe off. "JUNHOE-" 

"I'm trying to show you  _affection,_ " Junhoe whined, and Jinhwan looked up at him curiously. 

"Why?" 

"So you'll be more sure about not leaving me." 

"What?! Oh, come on..." 

Jinhwan's arms locked around his waist like a snug belt, tugging Junhoe down until their faces were inches apart, with Jinhwan looking at him with starry, worried eyes. Junhoe wasn't sure how to look back. 

"You don't believe that I'm already  _super_  sure? I like you, lots and lots. You don't need to kiss me more or compliment me more, I love what you're already like." 

"To be fair, it was nice doing that stuff," Junhoe mumbled and Jinhwan grinned, kissing Junhoe's cheek. 

"Now you know how I feel, baby. I'm really  _really_  waiting for the day that I get to kiss you all over," Jinhwan whispered, eyes raking over Junhoe's chest in such an obvious way that Junhoe wanted to laugh but it made him feel hot too. 

"With the way things are going, maybe...soon," Junhoe said even quieter than before, feeling meek, but the way Jinhwan blatantly lit up had a shy smile peeking through. He had to admit, he liked this a bit better, when Jinhwan was the one making him feel all flustered because he did it so  _well_. He did it in a way that made it easier and easier to fall for him. Maybe Junhoe was just a kid who got too attached and tore through feelings too fast, but Jinhwan's eyes were telling him,  _"I'm falling for you too."_

Junhoe really wanted to believe them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm going to end up apologising for every single chapter and I know I'm just gonna keep being a bad updater so I'm trying my best to at least get out good enough chapters every time I finally do get an idea for this book (read: once a year at this rate god) and I understand, I'm sick of me too ;_; I've just had a lot on my mind...no excuses though. 
> 
> anyone who's still with me, you're a real og


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